Who Am I
by MysticIce24
Summary: Co-authored with OrangeBlossom. Shattered by life, living one hardship after another, Isabella Swan doesn't let a soul in. How can she after all she's suffered? Will one accidental knock down give her a life she deserves to have? The love she needs?
1. Prologue

Standard disclaimer...Don't own, SM does, just borrowing...yada yada yada...we've all read like upteenth times...

I have a C2 Community Mystic Stories! I offer a place to get help with your stories! I don't read slash though, so I would need a staff member who does!

If you want your story added, PM me or JustJo94 with your pen name and story name!

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Who am I you ask? A simple question. Who are you? Yet, in truth, it's not so simple. Do they mean who are you as a person? Who are you as in what's your name? One so very simple and one so very not. We ignore the complicated one and opt for the simple. We answer the question with our name. Hi. Who are you? Hi. I'm Suzy. We don't want to delve into the complexity of the question that makes us look deeply into ourselves to see who and what we are.

We strive to hide behind walls that we build. We are all actors. We play a part in an ongoing play. But the part we each play is not the part we should be. We hide behind our masks, showing one face to the world. And even alone, we still wear it. We have immerged ourselves so deeply into the character we try to play, that who we really are, is scary to us.

We don't want to face the fears we've hidden. We don't want to face the unpleasant memories that are there. The terror we felt at something. The sadness that radiates through us. So we pretend. We pretend none of it is there. That it was all a dream and the person we are trying to be is the person we are. And when we're asked who are you, we ignore the complex answer that would force us to face the lie and answer the simple question. It is human nature.

Who am I? You still ask? Do you want my name? Do you want me to face my reality? A reality that I've never run from. A reality I accepted and live with everyday? I don't hide who I am, but I still hide.

Who am I? If I had the rest of my life, I don't think I'd ever be able to answer that question to your satisfaction. There are times when I can't even tell myself who I am. I am…I am lost in a sea of people. Clinging to a rock in the middle of a storm. Drifting afloat out at sea. I am…I am the one that wandered. The one that wandered and lost her way. Who fell into the ocean. Who went out in the middle of the storm. Who drifted.

I am…I am no one. A nobody. A face among faces. No, a nameless face in a crowd. Plain. Ordinary. Unremarkable. Undistinguishable. You would scan the people and never register I was there. Your eyes would pass over me like an ugly piece of furniture. I am invisible. I could stand in the middle of a crowded walkway and no one would ever know I was there. They'd part like the red sea and walk around me, never seeing, never knowing. I am in no way the Rosalie Hales and Alice Brandons of the world. The beautiful, stunning, gorgeous movie stars that grace our screen from time to time.

I am…I am unwanted. Uncared for. Yesterday's garbage thrown to the curb. Clothing you've outgrown. Toys that have no use. That ugly vase from great aunt something at your wedding. All that junk you've collected over the years and don't want anymore. Tossed. Tossed to the curb. Taken to the dump. Destroyed. Given away. Unwanted.

I am…I am unfixable. Scarred and broken beyond belief. I nurse wounds so deep that nothing can touch them to heal them. I panic at any male touching me. Recoil like a spring stretched out. Like elastic pulled tight. Hiding behind walls so thick nothing short of a nuclear blast would topple them. There are no doors, no windows in those walls. No way for a prince to call, "Repunzal, Repunzal, let down your hair!" Shattered into so many pieces. How can I go anywhere? How can I let anyone in? Knowing they would suffer with me? I can't. The answer is as simple as that. I can't. I'm like Humpty Dumpty. All the king's horses and all the king's men can't put me together again. I'm shattered into a million and more pieces.

I am…I am boring. You don't hold a conversation with me. I'm uninteresting. Not worth the time to go beyond hi, how are you? One glance and you move on. Four words and you are gone. I have nothing in my head. How could I if you pass me over? I stand against the walls in the shadows head down. Why start the conversation when it's not going to go beyond those four little words. Why engage people who will smile condescendingly and move on to speak to someone with far more class?

Why am I all these things? Why am I so shattered? So destroyed beyond belief? So willing to throw off my mask when no one else will. To let the world see me as I am? To put on my face the burdens I bare? To watch the people hide behind their web of lies, unwilling to face the truth? Why? Because my life was one of hardship and I learned that the lies help nothing. The lies get you nowhere. They cover things, yes, but they don't move you forward. They keep you rooted to the spot where you first uttered them. And, when you have to survive at all costs, you don't hide behind masks and pretend to be someone your not. You face yourself. The deepest regions within you. You face them and confront them. Because anything else, anything else, could mean your death. The cessation of your beating heart. No, it is unwise to live behind a web of lies when you are trying to survive.

Why do I speak so frankly? Why do I speak so bluntly? Why do I tell you this? Because when you are lost within that sea of people, clinging to the boulder in the middle of the storm hoping that you'll be rescued, you have to do something. Do something or go insane. The feelings and thoughts and whispers and dreams build and build within you until you pop. Like shaking a soda for too long. Because I need to speak. Even if it isn't much. Even if no one reads this. I need to speak. I hope, one day, that I can truly live.

My mother died giving birth to me and well, my father, my father I don't know. I never met him. I don't know his name. What he looks like. Alive? Dead? Nothing. He is a mystery. A blank slate. An unknown factor in the equation that is my life.

So what is my first memory? It is being in a children's home, surrounded by others, looking up at a woman with a perpetual scowl on her face and a hooked nose. I asked where my mommy was. Why wasn't she there? When was she coming? And I was told that she was never coming. She didn't want me so I was here with the other unwanted children. I cried.

A house nestled in a suburban area. A backyard with a pool. A green front yard. Two stories. A playroom that was all mine and doubled as my bedroom. The joy at the hugeness of it. A woman with a kind smile. Soft brown hair. Sweet green eyes. A loving look. A tinkling laugh. A man, tall. Greasy black hair and sharp brown eyes. They missed nothing. He didn't laugh. A closet. The dark. Hours upon hours. Nothing, nobody. Day after day, month after month. A neighbor seeing a skin and bone child. Social services. The home once more.

Another family. Another home. Another life. No closets. No. this time it's belts. You didn't clean your room. Do the dishes. What's taking you so long? Leather belt. Couldn't sit for days. Sleeping on my stomach. Tears staining my cheeks. Foiled robbery. The home once more.

Misplaced hope. Misplaced dreams. A new place. A new family. A new experience. No better then the other two. No closets still. The belt remains. Three boys plus dad. Young. Maybe ten. I stopped counting birthdays. Uncelebrated day. Night. Terror. Rape. Beatings. Spoon. Two by four. Son. Repeat. Son. Repeat. Son. Repeat. The longest home. A mask of perfectness hiding a monster.

Five other homes spattered in between. Two were kind and nice and why couldn't I stay? I never knew. I was taken. The other three were just like the others. Pain. Terror. Horror. Tears. Lifeless. Abused and no one cared. Nothing was done. I regret. To this day I regret being scared. Being too scared to speak up. Cowering in the corner. And people wonder why I nearly scream at a male touching me.

Yes, I am the above. I am broken. I am shattered. I am nothing. I am meaningless. I hold no place in this world. No place in this great span of things. Eighteen years of terror I lived. Eighteen years before I got out. A cheap apartment and a cheap job, just trying to survive. Trying to live. I didn't suffer for so long just to end it all. Though, the thought has crossed my mind many a time.

Why not end the misery. Hope and dreams were killed two many years ago to count. Destroyed and crushed. Who was I to say anything? I had survived. I didn't have time for anything else. I lived in the reality that was the world, not the play that was always going on. I was already lost, I couldn't get lost again. I had to find my way. Find a path. Find a reason. A reason for what? I don't know.

Life is cruel. Life is kind. Life is hard. Life is easy. Sweet. Sour. Bitter. Happy. But I drew the short stick. I got cruel and hard and sour and bitter. I watch the families who walk past me. They have a mixture of the two, good and bad. One outweighing the other. The families that seem to have just good. Balance. Everything must balance. It stands to reason, that if there were a person who could heal me, they'd be all good. For we must compliment one another. The ying and the yang. The black and the white. Your perfect someone will complete the circle you have started.

Hope? I've lost. Dreams? I have none. Masks and plays? I scorn. A jaunt into fantasy? A nice relief from the harsh reality. I cannot hold on to things. I get hurt. It always ends with me getting hurt. And with all the pieces I'm in, if I were to break anymore, I'd be dust upon the wind.

Fragile. I am fragile. I am fooling myself if I believe there is more out there for me. I cannot live the lies. I cannot weave the lies. I have learned how they harm. How they root you. How they leave you in the past.

Who am I? The complex question. I am no one. I am twenty-four years of age and no one. I sit here, in the bay window of my apartment watching the people below walk by. They don't look up. They don't glance my way.

I am no one. How can I make you understand that I am truly no one. That my pain, my grief, is all consuming. That to let someone in is to invite the pain. I am alone. Alone and wanting. Yearning. For what? Life only knows. What will come will come. What is willed to be will be. If it is meant to happen it will happen. I cannot change that, as much as I wish to. As much as I'd love to travel in time and fix it all, I can't. Love. An emotion I have never known. What does it feel like I wonder? I won't dwell. It brings nothing. There is no love in this world for one such as I.

I am sitting in a bay window, listening to the soft pitter-patter of the rain. Letting it sooth my soul like a balm, knowing it will never heal it. I am…I am who I am and this is my life.

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This story is posted over at Twilighted. I am looking for a co-author. Must be a registered user on Twilighted, as that will be the main posting site.

Okay, so I started another story...This is not actually based on a true story or anything, though, sadly, I scared my mom when she read the prologue. It hit home for her. I wasn't trying to do that, but I did.

So, I suggest that you go read it, because I'm looking for a co-author! Yes, I, MysticIce24 am looking for a co-author. This is going to be an emotional based story. I have it rated NC-17, because honestly, while I have an outline, I'm still not sure what's going to happen.

Co-author requirements:  
I am looking for a co-author (1) on this. I have chapter one started in my head. But I will not continue without a co-author. If you desire to co-author with me, please send me a PM with:

Your name, a story you've written (preferably completed, but long enough to get a sense of your writing), and the reason why you want to co-author with me (THIS ONE IS IMPORTANT), penname on Twilighted

I'm going to give a week for people to apply. If I don't have a lot of applicants, I'll give it one more week and then decide out of who applies.


	2. Meetings

Standard disclaimer...Don't own, SM does, just borrowing...yada yada yada...we've all read like upteenth times...

I have a C2 Community Mystic Stories! I offer a place to get help with your stories! I don't read slash though, so I would need a staff member who does!

If you want your story added, PM me or JustJo94 with your pen name and story name!

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BPOV

Sighing, I sat down on the window seat, leaning against the wall, scanning my place, wishing I could move. But, when you live above a butcher shop and have cheap rent, moving isn't such a grand idea.

My place consists of a tiny kitchen with appliances from, I swear, 1960, though the stove and oven still do work, and a small refrigerator. Not having the extra cash and living here alone, I didn't see the point in getting anything large.

There's a bathroom across from the front door. It's painted a light, sea foam green and consists of the typical bathroom stuff: a shower, sink, and toilet. It's not all that pretty, but a bathroom is a bathroom.

The rest of the place is a living room slash bedroom. My furniture consists of a futon mattress on the floor next to a dresser, a coat rack for hanging clothes on, a coffee table that doubles as a kitchen table and a used CD player I found one day. I keep what little music I have in a kitchen cabinet with my books. Got to store them somewhere.

Turning my attention back to the window, I listen to the soft pitter-pattering of the rain, watching the people below rush every which way to get out of the rain. Glancing over at the clock on the wall, I groan, knowing if I don't leave now I'm going to be late for work. Standing up, I grab my purse off the coffee table before heading over to the door and slipping on my raincoat before grabbing my umbrella and heading out, shutting and locking the door behind me.

Gripping the stair rail I navigate down the rickety, old steps carefully, having no desire to misstep and possibly fall through. Getting outside, I open my umbrella and ponder my options. Walk to work or take the bus. Shrugging, I decide to walk, since it really isn't raining all that hard and the streets aren't very crowded. Besides, I could use the time to think.

Thankfully I work as a stagehand at the MGM Studio, cleaning, carrying things, and running errands. Basically, anything that needs to be done. Another good quality about my place is that it's just up the street from work, allowing me to walk. Seeing a man walking towards me I unconsciously move out of touching distance.

I don't dislike my job, but I can't say I'm thrilled about it either. But, seeing as I can't afford a car or college, my job options were limited and I made enough to survive. As much as I would like to have a degree, I know there was no point in keeping false hope. I'd learned that lesson well over the years. Eighteen years in the care of Social Services teaches you a lot. Survive. That was the only thing that was important. Surviving. I needed to work, not hope to go to college.

Stopping at the corner where I needed to cross, I sighed, blinking away tears. It didn't do any good to dwell in the past. Focus on the present. Get through the day. Survive. Just survive. Wiping my eyes with the back of my hand, I watched as the walk sign came on and ran across the street, not wanting to be late. Walking towards the security gate, I opened my purse, pulling out my clearance pass.

"Morning Bella."

"Morning Dean. How are you doing?" I asked, showing him my pass and staying out of touching distance. I never thought about the action, I just made sure I was never within touching distance if I could help it. At times it drove my co-workers nuts, but they still warned any new people working with to not touch me. Not everyone listens though, and they find out the hard way that they should have.

"Just fine. Head on in." He answered, nodding towards the back.

"Thanks Dean." I started heading towards Studio Six, putting my clearance pass away and not paying attention to where I was walking, causing me to bump into someone, who dropped their purse.

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry!" I freaked, leaning down to pick up the dropped purse before it was ruined and freezing as a distinctly male hand grabbed it before I could. Touching distance. He was within touching distance. Calm down Bella. Calm down. No, don't start hyperventilating. Deep breaths. Deep breaths.

I knew it wasn't working, my breathing was coming in shallow gasps and my heart was beating a mile a minute.

_Please don't hurt me. Let me go without hurting me. Please. I didn't mean anything. I know I should've been paying closer attention. Don't hurt me. Just please don't hurt me._ I started chanting over and over again in my head, waiting to see what he would do. I watched him pick up the purse before grabbing my arm, causing my instinct to take over. I couldn't get hurt. I didn't do anything wrong! Screaming I jumped back, forgetting I was leaning down and managing to successfully land on my ass.

"Oh my! Are you all right? What did you do Edward?" A high-pitched voice asked. Trembling I ignored her question, looking at every possible direction I could run in to escape if I needed to. No quick actions though. Wait. See what he does. If I bring attention to myself he'll hurt me. "The poor girl's terrified! Look what you did!"

"I didn't do anything. I merely attempted to help her stand. Here's your purse." A soft, velvet voice that wrapped around me like silk answered.

"Well, for nothing she sure looks terrified." A deep, loud, bass-like voice cut in, causing me to look in its direction, seeing someone walking towards me. "Let me-"

Scrambling to my feet, I shrieked, backing away, keeping my gaze on the people in front of me, but not registering exactly who they were. Slowly, I started making my way towards my umbrella, intent on grabbing it and leaving as soon as I could. Before I got to it though, I saw someone else pick it up, closing it and handing it to me.

"Here you go Bella."

Glancing quickly towards my friend Angela, I took the umbrella from her before returning my attention to the males in the group, needing to know where they were. I was still terrified and on high alert, reading to run, but I relaxed a little knowing Angela was here to help me. I'd told her of my problem and that it stemmed from my childhood. She knew how she could help me and what she could do to accomplish that.

She wrapped her arm around my shoulders, asking, "Bella, are you all right?"

Nodding, I looked at her again for a moment.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Hale, Ms. Brandon. I'll get Bella out of your way." Angela spoke calmly, rubbing her hand up and down my arm.

"It's nothing. I was too busy talking to my friends and not paying attention to where I was going. It's really my fault." I heard the high-pitched voice say, recognizing it now as the voice of Alice Brandon. Turning my attention briefly towards the voice, I saw that it was indeed all 4'11" of Alice Brandon. She was stunningly beautiful, something I'd never be. I was too scarred. She had pale skin, bright, blue eyes, short, spikey, black hair, and large eyes. I was reminded of a pixie every time I saw her.

"N-n-no, I-I-I w-w-wasn't p-p-paying a-a-attention," Unsurprisingly I stuttered. It was a bad habit I had when I was scared.

"Bella, calm down. Your fine." I heard Angela whisper in my ear.

"I'm sorry for anything I did to upset you." Velvet voice apologized. I shot him a brief glance, making sure he was still out of range of touching me again.

"Ms.?" Alice asked.

"Angela. Angela Weber." I knew Angela well enough that I was able to hear the smile in her voice. It wasn't often one got to converse with the movie stars, and not only was she doing that, but they were nice, too.

"Angela…you don't mind if I call you Angela? Good. If I may, is she…Bella? Is Bella going to be alright?" I could hear the concern in her voice. Was she actually worried about me?

Sighing, Angela asking, "Did anyone touch her?"

"Edward tried helping her stand and Emmett tried afterwards." Alice replied, clearly baffled.

I felt Angela nod. "Bella has some…some serious issues with males and touching, something to do with her childhood. It terrifies her to have them touch her."

"Oh!" Alice breathed out and started walking towards me. Surprised, my eyes went wide. "I'm Alice Brandon. It's a pleasure to meet you! Sorry for bumping into you earlier. We weren't trying to hurt you, just lend a hand. Are you free for coffee?"

Blinking, I stared at her in wonder. How had she done that? She'd uttered all of that in one breath. And, she was asking me to coffee! Me! I was baffled as to why. There wasn't anything all that interesting about me. Taking a deep breath, so I wouldn't stutter, I replied, "No, I wasn't paying attention to where I was going. And, I'm sorry. As much as I would be nice to have coffee with you, I'm supposed to be starting my shift."

"Oh! We'll walk with you so you don't get in any trouble. I'll just let them know that I held you up. Good?" She had a bright smile that was full of life and energy, two things I didn't think I'd ever felt.

Glancing over her shoulder, I looked at the three men behind her. They were all tall and muscular. The one with blonde hair and blue eyes was the tallest. One of them looked like a football player or wrestler. He had curly, brown hair and brown eyes and was second tallest. The last one had messy bronze hair and striking emerald green eyes and was the shortest.

Alice noticed where I was gazing and looked back at them for a moment before returning her attention to me. "Don't worry about them. They'll follow behind us and make sure no male comes near you."

As I looked at her, eyebrows furrowed and confused, she added, "It makes sense to me! They can clear the way!"

"Alice…" Velvet voice growled, annoyed. He had the bronze hair.

"Oh hush, Edward." Alice shushed him, turning back towards me and point everyone out. "The one that just growled is Edward. Not only is he one of my bodyguards, but he's one of my older brothers. He plays the piano beautifully and is a lot strong then he looks.

Edward rolled his eyes, sighing, clearly use to this. Alice continued, ignoring him. "My other older brother is Emmett. He's the one in the middle. He may look fierce and terrifying, but he's really a teddy bear to those he loves and protects. He's also a bodyguard. The boys like to fight. Apparently this lets them do it legally. But, what do I know? I shop."

I gave a small laugh, causing Angela to glance at me in surprise. I rarely laughed, but Alice sounded genuinely baffled by this male behavior. It was as if she couldn't understand why they'd want to do that over shopping.

"And last, but not least, the last bodyguard, Jasper Whitlock, who's also my boyfriend. Stay away from the topic of the Civil War around him. He's a history buff with that. Isn't he a doll? So tall and sexy. I love him to death!" Alice beamed up at me and I just stared at her, nodding. I didn't know what else to do. "Come on, what studio?"

"Six." I answered, just before she started tugging Angela and I along behind her. Rosalie Hale stood on her other side and the guys walked behind us. I was trying hard not to think about them being behind me or think about any of this, for that matter. It was an entirely new experience and I didn't know what to think or do.

Angela spoke up as we were passing Studio Four. "This is me. I'll see you later Bella."

I nodded to her, too uncertain to talk aloud, wanting the quiet of my thoughts.

"Wait here Bella while I go in with her." Alice chirped, walking with Angela into the studio, a distinct bounce in her step.

Spinning around, I stared at the three males behind me, fully ready to escape if I had to.

_Can't be trusted. They're behind you. They can't be trusted. Keep your eyes on them. You don't know what they're going to do._ My mind told me.

They were watching me, looking concerned, but I knew that could easily be a lie. Edward took a step towards me. I watched him cautiously, knowing if I ran it would most likely end badly for me. If I didn't run, I wouldn't get hurt as bad. My mind knew this. It kept repeating it over and over and yet my body said move. You need to move, stop trembling and move! Biting my bottom lip, I looked at Edward who looked baffled at my reaction.

"Edward! Alice will be pissed if you terrify her anymore. Step back. Geez, she looks like a deer caught in the headlights." I looked in the direction of the voice. It was the guy with curly hair. Emmett. I watched him grab Edward's arm, pulling him back away from me.

This was…new. He'd protected me. He hadn't let me get hurt. He didn't even know me. I stood there staring at them, not knowing what to do. I'd never been in this type of situation. They always hurt me. I had the scars to prove it. How was I supposed to act now? What did one do when a guy protected them?

He was lying. He had to be lying. His face was too calm. He was just waiting for the perfect chance and now obviously isn't it. It was the only explanation I could come up with. He was going to hurt me at some point. He was three times the size of me, he could easily kill me. I took a step away from them, a small part of me I thought long dead wishing I wasn't right.

"Come on!" Alice chirped, coming out of the studio and taking my hand, continuing towards Studio Six, either oblivious to my fear or ignoring it so as not to make me uncomfortable. Before I could figure it out, she said, "Here we go. I'll go in with you. Give me your cell phone and I'll program my number in it. What time is your lunch? I'll pick you up and take you out. I just know we're going to be best friends!"

My head felt like it was spinning. How did she manage to speak so fast and yet never seem to take a breath? Looking at me feet, I replied quietly, "I don't have a cell. My lunch is at three."

"You don't have a cell phone?" Rosalie Hale breathed, speaking for the first time, her voice sounding like music. I shook my head no. "Why?"

Why? Because I didn't have the extra cash for it. Because it wasn't a necessity of life. It wasn't critical to my survival and if it was critical to my survival, it wasn't important. "I just don't. I need to-"

"Oh! Of course!" Alice grabbed my hand, pulling me into the studio.

As we entered I heard the director call out, "Ms. Swan, you're late!"

He started walking towards Alice and I and we met him halfway. Before I could apologize, Alice spoke up. "She's not really late. I held her up over a minor thing and it's really my fault."

Alice smiled sweetly at him, keeping a grip on my hand. I remained staring at the floor.

"Ms. Brandon. A pleasure to see you. Ms. Swan, is this true?" He turned his attention to me after shaking Alice's free hand.

"Yes," I said quietly, looking him in the eyes.

"You'll forgive me for making her late? It's really not her fault and I don't see why she should be faulted for it." Alice pouted, looking at him with puppy dog eyes. If she gave me that look, I was pretty sure I'd do whatever she wanted.

Sighing, he answered, not looking entirely pleased with the situation. "Of course, Ms. Brandon. However, please don't do it again. Ms. Swan, since you've never been late, I'll let this time slid."

Nodding my thanks, I smiled at Alice, waving goodbye before heading off to start working. As I walked away, I felt a strange sense of loss. I didn't want to leave her. She felt…she felt almost as if she were a part of me somehow. Sighing, I pushed the feeling to the back of mind for analysis later.

"Bella!" Alice called out and I turned around, looking at her. "I'll see you at three. Just wait outside the door here."

"Alright." I answered, smiling slightly and wishing the time passed fast so I could see her again.

APOV

I left Bella, heading back outside to my family. Walking over to Jasper, I hugged his waist, resting my head against his chest.

"Alice?" Rosalie asked me.

"She needs us. She really needs us." I replied to her unspoken question. "She's broken. Something really bad happened to her. Did you see how she was when I came back out of Studio Four? What happened?"

"Edward took a step towards her and Emmett pulled him back. She stepped back. She never said a word, so I don't know what she was thinking." Rosalie answered.

Edward ran his hand through his already messy hair. "What could have been done to cause that reaction though?"

"I don't know. But I do know that she needs us and we're going to be there for her." I shook my head, wanting to cry.

"Don't worry, Ali. We'll do something. If she really needs us, we'll be there for her." Jasper said, hugging my tighter.

Nodding, I took out my phone. If we were going to help her, I wanted as much information as I could get so we knew what we were up against. Dialing my lawyer, I sent up a prayer that he'd be able to find something on her.

BPOV

The first part of my shift paced with amazing speed, thankfully. But, as the clock got closer to three o'clock, I was starting to debate whether it was a good idea to go to lunch with Alice or not. I did want to see her again. But…she was Alice Brandon, famous movie star. Why would she want anything to do with me?

More importantly, would I be able to stand being in such close proximity to three rather large males? I hoped so because despite my reservations, I did desperately want to go. I'd always been too shy to ask for autographs and never had any friends, and the chance to get to actually meet a couple of the stars and possibly have one as a friend, was just too good to pass up. There was only one way to accomplish either, I needed to go. Grabbing my purse, I walked outside to wait for Alice.

As I leaned up against the wall I heard one of the other stagehands call my name, "Bella!"

Turning my head towards the voice, I saw Mike running up to me. He was one of the people who refused to listen that I didn't want to be touched. I avoid him at all times because he took every opportunity to touch me or try to touch me. He hadn't listened last time either I thought as he grabbed my wrist.

Shrieking, I tried to back away from him, only to find the wall in my way. I was trapped between him and the wall. Trying to tug my hand free, I started hyperventilating, my heart going a mile-a-minute again. He ignored my shriek, just looking at me oddly for it. I felt tears stinging my eyes as I tried getting away. I needed to get away from him. I need to run. Run far away. I didn't care how much I'd get hurt later I needed to get away from him, _now._

"Please, let go!" I pleaded. "Please!"

He ignored me, continuing to look at me weirdly. "Calm down. I just want to see if you want to go to lunch with me."

Before I could reply, someone stepped between us, grabbing Mike's hand, causing Mike to whimper and I figured they had a tight grip on Mike's wrist.

The moment the mystery man, he was too big to be a woman, started talking, I knew it was Edward. They were both too close for comfort and one was touching me. I _had_ to get away! Couldn't they see that? Couldn't they see my pain?

"Please!" I sobbed, tugging on my wrist.

Edward growled at Mike. "Let her go. She doesn't want to be touched."

"Hey man! I'm just asking her to lunch here. Take a hike and let go of my wrist." Mike demanded.

"Let go of her."

"Bella, babe, come on, let's get out of here." Mike looked around Edward and straight at me, smiling.

"Let me go! Please!" I shrieked, petrified. Oh god! They weren't letting me go because they were going to hurt me! I knew it. I just knew it. It's what they always did. Males. They hurt the weak and I was the weak. I started all out sobbing. If they were going to hurt me, there was nothing I could do. I was too small, too weak. "Please, please, let me go!"

"Let her go!" Edward snarled, causing Mike to laugh. I cringed, feeling as if I were listening to nails on a chalkboard.

"What are you? Her bodyguard? She's a stagehand."

"I'm one of three to be precise."

I glanced around Edward seeing Jasper and Emmett behind him looking just as mad. I was dead. I couldn't fight all four of them. They were much stronger than I. Knowing I wasn't going to get out unscathed, I stopped struggling, sliding down the wall, crying.

"I've had enough of this." I heard Emmett say, but I didn't look up until I felt Mike's hand removed from my wrist. Glancing up, I saw Emmett holding Mike by the throat against the wall. "Touch her again and you'll regret it."

Mike glanced down at me, looking terrified, before nodding and getting dropped by Emmett like he was a hot potato. I stayed where I knew running wouldn't do me any good. Pulling my knees up, I wrapped my arms around them, trying to make myself as small as possible.

"Bella? Are you okay?" Alice asked softly kneeling in front of me.

"Bella?" I heard the director ask and I wondered who'd had him come out.

"Bella, can I see your wrist? I want to make sure he didn't hurt you." Edward asked softly and quietly, kneeling next to me and arms length away.

I looked at his face, slightly blurred from my tears, searching. Was he telling the truth? Why would he care if I was hurt if he was lying and was going to hurt me? If I was going to get hurt more, there was no point in checking for injuries. Taking a chance, I felt for the first time in years a small spark of hope.

"Are you lying?" I choked out scared he was, hoping he wasn't.

"No. I want to help you. Will you let me do that? Only what you allow. Nothing more."

Was he…was he actually taking into account my feelings? He was. He was…I didn't know what. Was he protecting me? I shoved the thought aside, unable to deal with it. Tentatively I held out my wrist, feeling Edward hold it, examining it, treating it as if it were glass and would shatter at any moment.

"What the hell happened out here?" The director demanded coming up to us.

"Some idiot-" Emmett started and I interrupted him momentarily so the director would know who it was.

"Mike. It was Mike."

Nodding, Emmett continued. "Mike grabbed her wrist and wouldn't let go, even after she asked him to."

"I'll talk to him," The director said angrily. "Bella, you have the rest of the day off."

I was thankful I was already crying, because if I hadn't been, I would have started to. "No, please, I can work."

I pleaded with him. I couldn't afford to miss the rest of my shift. I needed the money.

"No. I'd rather you go home." He replied firmly. Damn. This wasn't good. Taking a deep breath, I resigned myself to the fact that this next paycheck would be a little tight. Wonderful.

Edward let go of my hand, saying "It just looks bruised."

I nodded, standing up and wiping my eyes. I wanted to go home. I didn't have the cash to go out to lunch now and I really wanted to just be alone, safe.

"Come on, you're defiantly coming to lunch with us now." Alice said, pulling me along.

"Please, I'd just like to-" I started saying, only to be interrupted.

"You're coming. End of story." Alice said.

"Don't argue with her. She'll get you to come along anyway." Jasper spoke up and I said nothing more. I'd make it through. I always did.

* * *

This story is posted over at Twilighted. I am looking for a co-author. Must be a registered user on Twilighted, as that will be the main posting site.

Okay, so I started another story...This is not actually based on a true story or anything, though, sadly, I scared my mom when she read the prologue. It hit home for her. I wasn't trying to do that, but I did.

So, I suggest that you go read it, because I'm looking for a co-author! Yes, I, MysticIce24 am looking for a co-author. This is going to be an emotional based story. I have it rated NC-17, because honestly, while I have an outline, I'm still not sure what's going to happen.

Co-author requirements:  
I am looking for a co-author (1) on this. I have chapter one started in my head. But I will not continue without a co-author. If you desire to co-author with me, please send me a PM with:

Your name, a story you've written (preferably completed, but long enough to get a sense of your writing), and the reason why you want to co-author with me (THIS ONE IS IMPORTANT), penname on Twilighted

I'm going to give a week for people to apply. If I don't have a lot of applicants, I'll give it one more week and then decide out of who applies.


	3. Lost Hope

Standard disclaimer...Don't own, SM does, just borrowing...yada yada yada...we've all read like upteenth times...

Let's welcome OrangeBlossom to our author community. This is her first story and I'm touched to be able to help her do this. She's a wonderful writer as you will find out. Though, if things go as hoped, our writing will merge perfectly and you won't be able to tell that it's two writers.

Welcome OrangeBlossom!!

* * *

BPOV

Who am I? Why do I even bother asking the question?! I'm still nobody, but now I'm a nobody who's going to be short on her next paycheque and living off of Ramen noodles for the two weeks after. So why am I being hauled off in a limousine with two of the most recognizable movie stars in the world and three strange men who may or may not have less than noble intentions for my pathetic self?

"Bella?" Alice's voice disrupted my thoughts.

"Hmmm?" I refused to look at any of them, choosing to keep my gaze firmly fixed out the tinted window and on the people and scenery flying past me. If I ignored them, I'd be fine. I just needed to focus on something else and they'd leave me alone. I wished I really could make myself disappear just then.

"Bella?" she called out to me again, forcing me to pay attention. "Um, you're looking a little scuffed from your, um…" Alice paused, searching for the right words. "Fracas?... with Mike, back there. Can we take you somewhere to change and clean up before we head out?"

I was surprised, to say the least, when I looked down and saw that I was quite the dusty mess. The wrist that Mike had decided to manhandle was aching, I knew that much. What I hadn't noticed was the raw scrape on the palm of my opposite hand and the scratches onto my arm, now stinging angrily. It must have happened when I dropped to the ground. _Wow, I really hadn't been paying_ _attention to what was going on around me!_ I blinked rapidly, trying to hold back my tears. How did I end up this way? I flashed on me sliding down the stuccoed wall of the studio exterior and flinched at the memory. All I could manage was a meek, "Oh," as I tried to keep myself from panicking again.

After a minute of obvious deep breathing, I looked up in time to see them exchanging worried glances. _Great_, I thought to myself, _now they all know what a mess_ _I am! I must look like a caged animal!_ I knew what I had to do.

I cleared my throat and looked to Alice, "Look, I really do appreciate the offer for lunch and all, but I really should just go home." I could only hope that she could hear the desperation in my voice and just accept that I wasn't worth the time. Of course, I couldn't be that lucky.

"Bella, I thought we had decided that you really had no say in the matter!" Alice countered. She shuffled a little closer to me and tentatively put her hand on mine. Her tone was soft, still melodic, as she continued. "I think you could have a really nice time today if you just decide to… please?"

It took me a minute to process the fact that her hand was there, her skin on my skin. The warmth of her small hand was oddly reassuring. _What is it about her that makes me feel so safe? _I couldn't help but wonder. Her face held such an angelic innocence, what else could I do? I cautiously looked around me again.

I could see that Rosalie was uncomfortable with my being there. Her disapproval was all the more evident when she turned away from me. I couldn't help but feel the stabbing in my chest as I was smacked with the reality of my nothingness. _Well, she's already decided I'm not worth the effort._ I tried to shake off what felt like the world's most obvious snub, but who was I kidding? I really couldn't blame her anyways. She was gorgeous and how could a so in-your-face gorgeous tall blond bombshell be bothered to associate with a wretched nothing like me? I could feel myself shrinking at the thought.

I looked over the men next. Emmett was sitting closest to Rosalie. His hulking mass didn't seem nearly as intimidating as he sat all squished in his seat. He was looking anxious and excited as he stared at me, though. He had the most ridiculous grin on his face, making him seem so eager and ready to take on the world. _Oh, to be that happy, _I thought. I imagined that, if he hadn't been sitting next to Rosalie, he'd have bouncing up and down like a kid on Christmas morning waiting to open the piles of presents.

Like Rosalie, Jasper wasn't looking at me either. It wasn't rude though. In fact, I rather preferred it that way. He was too busy looking at Alice, who was still busy looking at me. _Wow_. I blushed as I got all too caught up in the silent profession of love that I was witnessing. _I thought love like that just happened in the movies._ _Well, I guess if it were to happen to anyone, Alice deserves for it to happen to her. _I confess, a part of me was jealous of what they have, but such is my miserable life. I was startled when I felt the tears in my eyes again. _Geez, Bella, pull it together!_ I thought. _Don't go getting any stupid ideas… that'll never be for you. You're too broken for anyone to love and you know it._ I looked to Jasper's left.

Edward. There he was... _the voice. _He made no effort to hide the fact that he was sizing me up. I couldn't help but wonder what he was seeing? I knew what I wished he would see, but that would make this a dream, and I wasn't allowed to have those. That was a lesson I learned all too long ago. Edward's green eyes burned with an intensity unlike anything I'd ever seen, right into my soul. I couldn't help but push myself further back into my seat. _What is he planning? Hell, I wish I could read his mind… _I felt so vulnerable, raw… naked_? _I grabbed at the neckline of my shirt with my free hand, pulling it closed and wished that I could draw my eyes away._ Of course he sees me that way, one look at me and anyone can tell that I'm ready to be used and thrown away! _I reminded myself, angrily. _He's a man! He's going to hurt me! That's all any of them want! Why am I even considering this? _The tears welled up again.

I pulled my scraped hand from Alice's tender grasp and tried to shift my thoughts so I'd calm down. I moved my palm to my lips, blowing lightly across the scrape, trying to soothe the hurt, like I'd always wished my mother would do. I knew it was futile to think like this. All it ever did was make me wish I had more, and I _knew_ I was never going to get better. For all of my imagining, I still hadn't moved my eyes from Edward, and as I passed over my scratch a second time, I thought I saw him cringe. I nearly froze on the spot. _What did I do? Did I breathe on him? Am I so lowly that I can't even breathe the same air as him? _I was saddened and confused, and needed this whole thing to end.

Finally ready to decline Alice's offer once and for all, I inhaled deeply and turned to face her. She seemed so hopeful. _I wonder what that feels like? Hope_. Her blue eyes were so alive and glistening as she waited for my reply.

I closed my eyes, my brow furrowed. I knew what I needed to do but my thoughts and words betrayed me. _Where did my resolve go? What am I doing?! _"Alright." I sighed and opened my eyes to face the window. "Just turn left at the next set of lights. I'm sorry to make you backtrack, but my apartment wasn't that far from the studio and I should have been paying better attention. I'll just run up quickly and be down before you know it… is that alright?"

Alice squealed, clapping her hands together excitedly. "Bella, I'm so glad you've decided to come! We're going to have the best time! Who knows? Maybe by the end of this, we'll all be the best of friends!"

I smiled a little again, for the second time that day, as I moved to look out the window again. _Maybe she's right. _I thought._ Is this what hope feels like? Perhaps Alice Brandon could really be the balm to soothe my ravaged soul?_

* * * * *

APOV

I must confess I was startled to see the condition of the building when we pulled up in front of it. I knew Bella wouldn't be living in a mansion, but come on? This?! Granted, the butcher shop wasn't located in the worst area of town, but there was a definite air of neglect that hung over the whole neighbourhood. Graffiti was minimal and the light posts were covered in posters for all sorts of local bands. At one time, this area was probably the place to be… not so much nowadays, though.

We had barely slowed the limousine in front of the store when Bella opened the door and stumbled out onto the sidewalk. _I'll have to remind her that we pay people to help with that. _I suppressed a chuckle and called out to her, "Are you alright?" Her face was so flush with embarrassment that if I hadn't already seen it happen, I'd have thought she was choking on something or having some sort of fit!

"I'm good." She mumbled and pulled her long hair forward, trying to hide behind it to escape the stares of those gathering around the sleek, black automobile. "Um, I'll be right back… just, um, wait here?" Bella seemed to muster up some hidden courage because she looked me right in the eye before tentatively closing the car door and turning toward the entryway. _She's probably wondering if the rug is about to be pulled out from under her. She must think this is a great big practical joke… How horrible to live like that, _I couldn't help thinking to myself as I settled back into the leather seat. I shuddered as I flashed back on how I used to be, all those years ago… _No. No one should ever live like that. We have far too much work to do. _All of a sudden it was all I could do to contain my grin.

Jasper cleared his throat, interrupting the start of some masterful planning on my part. "Did you have something to say, Jazzy?" I smirked and raised an eyebrow, daring him to voice his thoughts.

"I'm just curious to know what's going on in that deviant little pixie brain of yours." He replied. "I'm pretty sure we'd all like to know what the deal is with this poor woman, but we all need to be on the same page." I looked around and saw them all nodding their heads in agreement of his statement. Well, all except for Rosalie. She was focussing all of her attention on the dingy streetscape. Jasper leaned over and, with a gentle touch, pulled my chin over so I was looking into his glorious blue eyes. "Alice, love?"

_Oh, how I love this man!_ "Well, if you must know, I've decided we need to help her. Granted, Mr. Jenks hasn't gotten back to me with the background check yet, but still! Everything about her is screaming for help! I want to do that for her. I need to do this for her! We can do this. I know we can! We have exactly what it takes to bring her back from the edge. You saw the look in her eyes… Jasper! All of you did!" I felt the enthusiasm bubbling up inside of me. "Think about it! Jasper, Edward, Emmett… you have no idea how incredible you are! If any man could convince her to trust, it would be you guys! Heck, with your backgrounds and Edward's education, we're set! Maybe Mom and Dad can help, too! Oh, this will be fantastic! I'll have to contact the studio and find a way to get a hold of Angela because she can help, too… and then Rosalie…" I turned back to her then, not expecting what was before me.

The tears streaming down her face immediately quieted any further comments I was going to make.

"Rose?" I whispered and moved to kneel before her.

"Alice… please don't ask me to help with this." She mumbled as she shifted her entire body away from us.

I felt so awkward returning to my seat. I didn't know what to say. I must have looked like a fish struggling for air as my mouth opened and closed, then opened again. No sound escaped my lips, yet everyone stared at me as if expecting me to know exactly what to say. I looked into Emmett's eyes, shaking my head and shrugged, knowing I'd never felt so helpless. _What have I done?_

For being such a big kid, he was incredibly perceptive. Emmett sidled closer to Rosalie and placed his arm protectively around her shoulder. He nuzzled his nose into the crook of her neck and spoke quiet words of love into her ear. "Hush now, my beautiful Rose… you're safe. I promise you…" She shifted again, this time toward him and threw her arms around his neck. She ran her fingers through his dark curls, allowing the action to calm her tears. He pulled her up into his lap and began to rock, back and forth.

I turned to Jasper and Edward and motioned to them that we'd best step out of the limo for a few minutes. It wasn't often that we saw Rosalie this way, but she definitely didn't like having a witness to her displays of weakness.

It was only moments later when Jasper, Edward and I quietly closed the car door behind us. "Guys, I'm so sorry… I really didn't expect her to react that way." I couldn't bring myself to look up at them. _How could I be so stupid! How could I not think about everything she's been through? I'm such an…"_

"Sweetheart?" My internal dialogue was interrupted by my own personal saviour. "Alice, you couldn't have known." Jasper took my hand in his and squeezed it in reassurance.

I offered a weak smile to Jasper and Edwardthen took in our current surrounding. A couple of people were looking out of their windows and a small crowd was starting to gather across the street. I knew that they hadn't seen me yet, thank goodness for my height deficiency, but it would only be a matter of time. "Umm… I think we might be wise to take this conversation to a less conspicuous location." Jasper and Edward glanced around us and immediately flanked me on both sides and assumed their roles as personal bodyguards.

"You're right. Let's move over this way." Edward took the lead and brought us over to the small alleyway that led to Bella's apartment staircase. "There," he announced. "Now all we need to do is wait for Bella to finish up and we'll be ready to go. It's been a while. She should be ready to go soon, I hope."

Edward was the first to hear the doorknob squeak. He turned his head to watch her descend when…

* * * * *

BPOV

I couldn't believe how frantic I was feeling! _Maybe I should just sit tight and they'll leave if I don't come down right away? This has to be a huge freakin' cosmic joke anyways! _I kept repeating it, but couldn't convince myself. _I saw the look in her eyes. She meant it! She really, truly meant it!_ Allowing that to become truth, I was no longer frantic… but excited? It took me a moment to calm myself enough to focus on what needed to get done.

_Alright, first order of business. First aid kit. _I pulled my dirty t-shirt off and went to the kitchen and grabbed my little baggie of bandages, gauze and tape with one hand and the peroxide with the other. I made quick work of the scrape, cleaning and covering the surface of my palm where the scrapes were the worst. I thought about Mike and how pathetic my pleas must have sounded to him. _Stupid bastard! Why do I let him do that to me?! _I felt the tears well up again, but this time I allowed them to fall. I was safe here. Not happy, necessarily, but no one had ever violated my sanctuary. Here was where I was allowed to fall to pieces…

But then I caught myself. _Ugh! NOT NOW! _I hastily wiped away my tears and turned my attention to the second task. _Clothes._ It's not something that I've ever been too bothered with, my budget took care of that. That didn't mean that I wanted to look like a total bum. I was checking my overall condition when I saw the damage to my pants. _Crap! I really don't need this on top of everything else! _The tear in the backside was big enough that no amount of patching could salvage them. _Oh, crap! Please tell me no one else noticed… Alice would have said something, right? She wouldn't have left me to embarrass myself, would she?_

I started thinking myself in circles again. I could almost feel the waves of nausea wash over me as I replayed my pathetic situation over and over again to myself. I needed to stop this! I forced myself to take control and cautiously crept up to the window to check outside. I couldn't believe my eyes. _They're still here. This isn't a dream. This isn't a joke. _There it sat, in all its glory… the limousine. Alice, Jasper and Edward were climbing out of the vehicle for some reason. They all looked rather grim. _Curious? I hope they aren't coming up here to get me. _It bothered me that Alice wasn't being her regular, exuberant self, but at least I knew she wasn't pulling some sort of horrible prank on me.

I ran my fingers through my mousy hair and drew in one more breath. I needed to pull myself together, fast.

I noticed that I'd need to do laundry soon, as my meagre supply of clean shirts mocked me from their mismatched hangers on that bloody rack. I grabbed at a blood red v-neck t-shirt and threw it over my head and promptly changed from my now ruined pants to a pair of baggy black jeans. _Don't want to bring too much attention to myself, now do I? _I grabbed my black sneakers from by the futon and threw them on.

I went into the bathroom for one final check. _Blech! _My eyes were still red and swollen still from the whole Mike fiasco so I splashed some cold water on my face and hoped for the best. _There. Done. Well… as done as I can be…_

The reality of what was waiting for me downstairs was starting to press in on the periphery of my mind. I couldn't let myself think about it or the fear would overtake me. I wouldn't allow that today. _I have Alice, and I'm safe. I have Alice, and I'm safe. _It was my mantra. If I held onto this, I'd be alright.

I straightened myself up and cleared my throat. "I can do this." Saying it out loud made it the truth, right?

As prepared as I could possibly be, I opened my door and stepped out onto the landing. I turned to lock the door, placed the key back in its hiding place and then took my first tentative steps onto the staircase. "I can do this." I whispered to myself and smiled, just a little.

It was then I heard the terrifying creaks and groans beneath me. I paused, not daring to move until the sounds stopped.

"Bella?" Alice questioned, looking up at me. I didn't answer, taking another step down the stairs, putting a little weight onto my foot waiting for any noises. When none were forth coming, I put all my weight down, only to go crashing through. Screaming I grabbed the step below.

"Bella!" Alice, Edward, and Jasper screamed. I started sobbing. I knew it was too good to be true. This is what I get for hoping. Why hadn't I listened to myself? I knew that dreams, wishes, and hopes were a waste of time. This is what I get for indulging.

"Bella! Hang in there! Edward, Jasper, and Emmett are going to get you down." I heard Alice shout to me. _Men? Near me? _I heard a car door slamming and a commotion as they all gathered beneath me.

"No! Please no! I didn't do anything! Just go away!" I panicked, almost letting go of my perch.

EPOV

I stood open-mouthed and stared at Bella's struggling form as Emmett rushed over asking, "What happened?!"

"She fell through the stairs." Jasper replied tensely as we evaluated the situation.

It was time to take action. "Emmett, Jasper go stand under her," I directed walking purposefully past Alice who was wringing her hands. The stairway had nothing under it, allowing Emmett and Jasper to do as I ordered.

Slowly I ascended the stairs, not wanting to fall through myself. The closer I got to her the more she started screaming. "No! Please! I didn't do anything wrong! Don't hurt me! Please!"

What had happened to her to elicit such a response? "I only want to help." I pleaded with her, "Like with your hand! Will you let me do that?"

"No! Please no! Don't hurt me!"

My heart bled for her. Whatever had happened to her had really scarred her. How could anyone do that to her? She looked so innocent. Well, like she should be innocent. Taking a deep breath I moved closer to her, reaching out to take her hands. She let out a bloodcurdling scream before passing out.

"I'm going to lower her down. Be careful, though. She's passed out." I told them, gripping her hands.

"Whenever you're ready." Emmett called up. Making sure I had a firm grasp, I lifted her up and down through the hole.

"Got her!" Jasper said and I let go, watching to make sure she was safe in Jasper's arms before carefully going back down the stairs to take her from him, cradling her against my chest.

"Is she alright?" Alice fretted as we got back in the limo.

"I don't know." I replied buzzing the driver. "Achaius, take us to our parent's house."

APOV

The silence in the car was deafening.

Once Jasper had made the phone call to Carlisle to fill him in on what had happened, it seemed a stupor had settled over the lot of us.

Edward looked absolutely distraught. We had tried to talk to him about what the cause of Bella's unconsciousness could be, but after realizing that he wasn't listening to anyone else, we all stopped questioning. He refused to loosen his grip on her, choosing instead to cradle her limp form gently in his lap and whisper gentle assurances into her hair.

Jasper was busy taking in the overall mood of the group. I couldn't help but feel like everything was going to be okay when he was around. It's a gift he's always possessed and one I was especially grateful for. I thought back to all those years ago and the anchor he had been to me when I had first come to the Cullen home. I shivered at the memory.

Poor Emmett didn't know what to do with himself. He looked almost tortured as he tried to decide where to allow his attention. Like the rest of us, he felt drawn to Bella. He's always been the stereotypical big brother, and I could see how he already wanted to make all of Bella's hurt go away. He was struggling to take comfort in the fact that Edward had her well in hand because Emmett knew he needed to focus on someone else.

Rosalie. Sitting there, enveloped in the arms of her protector, she barely resembled the woman she had struggled to become. The tears she had shed earlier were memorialized with dried streaks of mascara and smears of eyeliner. The sadness in her face was heartbreaking and I could only wonder where _MY_ Rosalie had gone to: Rosalie, the hard ass; Rosalie, the temptress; Rosalie, the one who could bring a studio head to his knees with a sneer of her voluptuous lips. Looking at her brought me back to a time and place that it seemed I was destined to return to…whether I liked it or not. She had been so disturbingly silent as she watched the drama unfold around her, that I could only assume that was where she had chosen to retreat in her mind.

I knew that I needed to talk to her soon.

It wasn't too long after that Achaius found his way clear of the congested city streets and we were on quieter winding roads through the hills outside of Los Angeles. I breathed a sigh of relief when the limo glided through our exclusive community gates and made its way to our personal refuge.

Once the car came to a stop, we didn't even bother to wait for the driver. Jasper lurched forward and pushed the door open. Edward shuffled forward onto the seat and then somehow managed to make his way out of the car without jostling his sleeping beauty from her slumber. The two were already up the stairs and entering the mansion before I had put my foot onto the drive. _Damn, that Edward is fast!_

I had barely finished stepping out when Rosalie pushed past me and ran up the steps, seeking her escape. Emmett emerged next, lumbering and awkward. He stood to his full height and looked down at me with his sad dark eyes. "Emmett, go see if you can help with Bella," I said softly. "Let me take care of Rosie, okay?"

I'm not sure if he was relieved to be absolved of the duty to deal with Rosalie or if he was just glad to be able to go make sure Bella was okay, but not having to make that decision seemed to bring a small smile to his face. He didn't say a word, just put his hand on my shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze before turning away to join the other men.

I took a deep breath and pulled my hand down my face. _Think, Mary Alice, this is going to be a big one…what are you going to do? _The epiphany I was hoping for never came. _Of course, that would be my luck, _I thought to that I couldn't put it off any longer, I turned, took a deep breath, and started towards what I knew would be a very difficult conversation.

RPOV

"Idiot, idiot, idiot!"If I didn't have that blasted photo shoot in the morning, I'd probably be doing more than just calling myself names and pacing back and forth. _Shit! _I wanted to scream, pull my hair out, punch the wall! I knew that nothing would be good enough to get rid of this enormous pressure on my chest. "AAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!" I couldn't keep it in anymore. I picked up the rose-filled vase from off the table and hurled it at the wall. I had really hoped that seeing some sort of pointless destruction would help, but it barely blipped on the 'Emotional Meltdown Radar'. _Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit…_

My little rant was interrupted by a knock at my bedroom door. A muffled "Can I come in?" came from the other side. Before I could answer, the door was open and Alice was peering cautiously into my room.

"What do you want?" I deadpanned.

"I came to make sure you're okay… you were kind of quiet in the car and, umm…" Alice looked to the floor and surveyed the mass of stems, water and broken crystal.

I wanted to be so angry with her at that moment. My hands were fisted and ready to strike out at her. _How dare she bring someone like THAT into our lives? How dare she bring someone like that into our sanctuary and act like it's a positive thing! _I couldn't stand it anymore. I had to get it out.

"Mary Alice Brandon Cullen," I seethed. "How could you do that to me? How could you?! What made you think that it was okay to take a perfect stranger and play God with her life and in the process, mess up mine?! Who the hell are you?"

Alice fidgeted a little then opened her mouth to speak. I decided I wasn't going to have any of that so I started again. "NO, don't answer that! I'll tell you exactly who you are! You are a selfish, inconsiderate, masochistic _BITCH!_"

Alice stood there and took everything like a champ. Her silence convinced me that she agreed with everything I was throwing at her, so I kept on blasting her.

It was a few minutes later that I started to wind down. I vaguely remembered telling her that she couldn't predict the future and that she may have just made things worse for her little Pygmalion. I remembered Alice gasping in reaction. And then I remembered that sinking, horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach when I first saw Bella outside of that studio. I grabbed at my midsection and lowered myself to the floor, finally quieting down. "Alice?"

"Yes?" She approached me guardedly.

"Was I really like that?"

She came closer to me and ran her fingers through my hair. "Yes."

"Alice?"

"Yes, Rose?"

"Why her? Why now when I finally feel like it's not just a mask?

"Rose, do you _really_ need me to answer that?"

"Yes."

"There, but for the grace of God, go I…" she whispered.

"Alice?"

"Yes, Rose?"

"If I seem to forget that, could you please remind me as we go along?"

"Anytime."

"Alice?"

"Yes, Rose?"

"Can we go check on her?"

She smiled sweetly and helped me to my feet. We sidestepped the crystal shards on the floor and headed down the hall, following the hushed sounds of the men's voices.

We had just reached the doorway when we heard a gasp. We exchanged a nervous glance and moved to go in when we heard Carlisle exclaim, "Oh my word!"


	4. Old Wounds

Standard disclaimer...Don't own, SM does, just borrowing...yada yada yada...we've all read like upteenth times...

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EPOV

Never in my life had I wished I could move faster. I'd been on the track team in high school. Heck! I'd even made the State Finals one year! But, when it came to this poor creature lying in my arms, nothing could be fast enough for my liking. _I feel so helpless._

Jasper was out of the car like a shot, holding the door steady so I could manoeuvre her without having to jostle her too much. I was grateful, but couldn't open my mouth to acknowledge him for fear that I'd weep over this angel.

We were up the stairs quickly enough, Jasper ahead of me again to open the doors to the main house. I ignored the startled looks of the staff as we rushed past them.

Carlisle was waiting for us just beyond the foyer with his medical bag in hand. I guess he saw the urgency in my face, because he opted to cut short any greetings and turned towards the hallway leading to the main floor guestrooms in the east wing.

The clacking of our shoes echoed all around us, and before we knew it, we were turning into one of the last rooms. I couldn't be bothered to take in the color of the curtains or walls…any of it. Bella needed help and she was going to get it. I put her down onto the soft bedding and hoped she'd glean some comfort from it.

"Edward?" Carlisle looked confused as he looked at Bella.

"Is something wrong?" I checked over Bella's body, expecting to see something horrible from his tone.

"Well, I don't know? You didn't mention any head injury when you called. Why is she still unconscious?" He was leaning over her with his penlight in hand, lifting each eyelid and flicking his wrist up and away, hoping for the correct responses.

"Carlisle, she didn't hit her head!" I pushed my fingers through my mess of hair and paced at the foot of the bed in frustration. "She passed out just before I lowered her down to the guys!"

Carlisle seemed to be processing the new information. All I could do was play the part of the observer and it was making me insane. I wished I could crawl inside of her head and hear what was going on! I'd take any clue to see why she wouldn't wake up and let me see her beautiful, sad eyes.

I was finally able to pull my eyes away from her and noted that Jasper, and now Emmett, occupied the doorway. I had figured that no one would bother to stop in and check on Bella. I mean, really, who is she to any of us? _Man, I really need to get my head out of my ass!_ Of course, they'd want to be here! I was just surprised that Alice wasn't trying to horn her way into the room, as well.

Seeing the two of them there made me smile, just a little. Emmett looked particularly uncomfortable as he dug his hands into his pockets and shuffled a little.

"Edward," Emmett whispered, "How's she doing?"

I shook my head and shrugged. I had nothing to offer. I guess Jasper could sense my tension, because he came up to me and put a supportive hand on my shoulder.

"Edward, she'll be alright. We all know what happened and we know that she has to wake up sooner or later."

I knew he was trying to help, but it wasn't…Jasper hadn't seen the look of absolute torture on her face. I could barely choke out my reply, "Jasper, I told her I would help." The memory of her begging was whispering in my head. I knew that if those were the last sounds I heard from her lips, that I'd be haunted by them forever.

Our brief exchange was interrupted. "Edward, I need you over here." Carlisle called me back into the room.

"Wait here," I muttered to Jasper and Emmett. "The girls should be here soon and you can fill them in on what's happening when they do." I turned and walked over to the bed.

"Good, you're back." Carlisle glanced up at me, offering me a pair of scissors. I took them, knowing that my eyes conveyed my confusion. "I need your help to get her jeans off without jostling her too much. My preliminary examination isn't revealing anything critical, cuts and scrapes mostly, nothing we can't manage here. She does, however, have a pretty serious gash on her right leg…most likely from her drop through all the rotted wood, and I'm concerned that she may have a bone break that needs to be dealt with. The real trick here is that I can't even think about that until we've cleaned out all of the splinters and such." He gestured to her lower leg. "And I can't even do that until we get this fabric pulled away."

I followed Carlisle's hands and saw the tattered remains of the jeans that Bella had changed into, seeing his difficulty. It was time for my schooling to pay off.

Just as we were about to start, Emmett called into the room. "Hey, Eddie…the things you do to get into a girl's pants…" He chuckled trailing off into silence. I felt the growl building up in my chest. First, _inappropriate!_ Second, _I hate being called Eddie_. _What a grade –A, world class jerk! _I thought to myself. _That's what you get for playing football without a helmet._

"Edward." Carlisle was quiet, but he still took _the tone_…the one that told me I was about to get another lecture on learning to be patient with my siblings. "He's just as concerned as you are…cut him a little slack." I sighed, rolling my eyes.

"Good one, Emmy!" I yelled back, sarcasm dripping from my voice. I heard grumbling again and chuckled. _Turnabout is fairplay, ya' bonehead. _

"Here," Carlisle interrupted my thoughts again. "You take the damaged leg. We know what to expect there…I'm concerned about what I'm not seeing over here." He set about cutting away the fabric.

I could hear Jasper distracting Emmett from retaliating, for which I was grateful. I needed my full attention for the task at hand. Taking the scissors, I starting slicing away at Bella's tattered pant leg, removing a piece at a time to avoid having to lift her leg. Carlisle was only just starting after delicately palpating the leg again. I had barely removed half of my part when I heard his sudden intake of breath. My eyes barely had time to register what he'd seen when he exclaimed, "Oh my word!"

* * * * *

CPOV

I couldn't believe what I was seeing. "Edward, close the door!" I barked, causing him to jump immediately, knowing better than to ask questions, and fly to the door. I heard him mumble an apology to the others as he shut and watched as he rushed back.

"Carlisle, what's wrong?"

I could barely choke out the words, "The scars."

Edward's eyes widened as he took the time to examine the limb closely. His eyes raked over every raised line and circle of scar tissue. _Saints have mercy! _In all my years as a practicing doctor, I had never seen such severe signs of physical abuse. You couldn't travel two inches in any direction on the leg without finding some sign of previous violent acts. _How could no one know that she was suffering like this? What kind of monster could turn a blind eye to the anguish of an innocent little girl? _I was nauseated by the site before me and struggled to keep the bile at bay. I had to step back for a moment. I knew that I'd see the exact same thing on her other leg and had a hunch that if I were to examine her entire body, I'd find even more.

Once I managed to pull myself together, I came back to the bed. Edward was mumbling something under his breath as his fingers brushed lightly against the marks. I could barely make out the words. "I understand…now I get it…"

"What do you mean, son?"

"Dad," Edward started., "She had three separate episodes today…like panic attacks, but worse, when she was threatened with the prospect of being touched by a man. Crap, you should have seen what happened when some Mike guy actually got his hand on her! Her friend, Angela, alluded to it when we first met them, but we didn't take the time to understand the severity of her reaction. I guess now we do.?"

My gaze went from Bella to Edward, and then back to Bella again. "Edward, I need you to tell me _exactly_ what happened when she lost consciousness."

Edward proceeded to tell me the events that led up to her arrival in our humble home; the staircase breaking apart beneath her, the terror, and how she begged to be left alone. I heard the sadness in his voice when he realized she'd rather fall and risk grave injury than be helped by a man. I remained quiet until he was finished.

I took a moment to process everything he had shared with me. Edward could see that I was trying to figure this out. The fact that I started chewing on my thumbnail was a telltale sign. _Nasty habit._

"Dad?"

"Hmmm?"

"Dad, you're obviously going into diagnostic mode…please tell me what you're thinking."

"Well Edward, if what you're telling me is accurate, I haven't seen anything like this since I did my psychiatric rotation at Virginia Mason in Seattle back in the 70's"

Edward looked confused by the reference.

"Post traumatic stress disorder… battle fatigue… shell shock." Edward's eyes alighted with recognition. "Of course back then it was only considered applicable to soldiers coming back from war, but it was eventually considered a legitimate diagnosis for someone who had gone through or witnessed a devastating event. Look at her." I gestured towards Bella's still form. "How much more devastation could she go through before finally hitting the breaking point?"

Edward nodded.

"Well, we'd better get a move on and get this all taken care of before…"

The words hadn't even finished leaving my lips when she began to stir. "No." She whimpered. Her head rolled from left to right. "No. Please." She called out again.

"Oh, no." It was my turn to be quiet. "Son, we have to hurry. Quickly, pass me my bag!" There was no mistaking the urgency of the task at hand.

"What do I need to do?" Edward asked.

"Hold her still. She can't wake up like this!" Her movements were becoming more combative. Her whimpers were growing louder and her breathing harder as she fought whatever invisible monsters were in her sleep. Edward looked awkward as he positioned himself over her body to keep her from hurting herself even more.

I could feel my steady demeanour slipping. I fought to keep my hands steady as I rummaged through my bag for a syringe and the morphine I knew would keep her blissfully unaware. _Got it! _Having those two items in my hand gave me focus. I plunged the syringe into the rubber stopper and pulled in enough of the medication to ensure she'd be out for a while.

"So sorry… please no more…"

"Edward, hold her arm!"

Her hips bucked. She started thrashing. Edward was struggling to not only hold her steady, but avoid hurting her injured leg more.

"Forget about her leg! Let me get this into her and we'll fix the rest later!"

"NNOOOOO!"

"Dad! I can't do this much longer!"

"Just one more second…" I fought to keep her arm immobile. Between the two of us, we were fighting a losing battle.

"Damn it! Jasper!" I called over her cries, hoping that the others were still lingering in the hallway.

"What's wrong?" Jasper answered as he rushed in the door.

"We need you! Come here and hold her!" Jasper followed my order and within seconds of his taking a place beside Edward, the syringe was delivering its medicinal calm to the obviously terrified woman on the bed.

It didn't take too long for her to start settling. Her legs were still in motion, like she was trying to run away from whomever…from her demons…from us? At least we knew that it would end.

"Carlisle?" Jasper was troubled.

"I'll explain in a few minutes, Jasper. Let's wait until she's completely out before I get into it all."

Jasper agreed and we all stepped back from the bed, biding our time, hoping she'd stop soon.

"Stop… no…" She was growing quiet and more still.

"Carlisle?" I shook my head towards Jasper, never taking my eyes off of Bella, indicating my need to observe.

She sobbed. "no." It was childlike.

I shuffled my feet uncomfortably. This was too private a moment for witnesses.

"no more…" She was quieter.

I cleared my throat.

"please don't… it'll hurt…"

The three of us looked at each other.

"let me die…"

I stepped forward and placed a tender hand on her leg. Bella shouldn't think she was alone.

"it hurts." She sighed.

It took a few minutes for someone to speak.

Edward cleared his throat and whispered, "Dad… I don't think she was talking about her leg."

* * * * *

RPOV

_Why couldn't they close the door? Jasper should have closed the door! _My thoughts were frantic.

I heard Carlisle call to him to hold her down. I couldn't help myself when I stepped into the room to see what was going on. I couldn't believe the commotion. _What are they doing to her?!_

I must have looked quite distraught; because the next thing I was aware of was Emmett putting his hand on my shoulder and pulling me gently back out of visual range. I think I tugged away from him, trying to catch a little of the scene being played out. Maybe I argued? I couldn't be certain, but I was certain of one thing: someone had decided I had seen enough. Before I could protest, Emmett scooped me up bridal style and placed me gently on the chair just beside the door. I could still here the screaming, but it really was easier to imagine it as a really loud movie that Emmett had left playing in the entertainment room when it wasn't unravelling in front of me. _Damn! I love the movies!_

Emmett never let go.

The sounds of the struggle lessened after a minute or so. _Thank goodness for small miracles. _I let out a sigh of relief.

"Do you want to go inside?" It was Alice kneeling down before me.

I smiled weakly. "That's why we came down here, right?"

"'Kay. Let's go." Alice stood and reached out for my hand. She gripped it tightly as we entered the room, Emmett trailing behind.

I saw Edward and Jasper standing at the foot of her bed. Carlisle was moving towards her, getting ready to tend to her injuries. I knew she was safe. I knew that none of the men surrounding her would ever do one thing to hurt her, intentionally or accidentally. I knew that, if any people could help her piece together the puzzle of her life, it would be them… And I knew I had to run.

Before anyone knew what was happening, I had turned on my heels and bolted. I vaguely remembered someone calling after me… or maybe it was more than one person. I didn't care. I just needed to be away from them. I needed to have quiet.

I shouldn't have been surprised that the memories came flooding back. I found another guestroom and rushed inside, sitting in the reading chair by the window before my senses were overrun with the inevitable. I tried squeezing my eyes shut to block the images. Of course it didn't work.

_I sat on the edge of my bed, my feet dangling over the side. It was still bright outside, so I couldn't understand why Mr. Crowley was making me go to sleep. He had told me that being such a pretty girl, I needed to learn about beauty rest. I guessed it was okay. It was strange though, because usually Mrs. Crowley liked to tuck me in. She was at work, so Mr. Crowley said he would take care of me… just like if I was a big girl. They were my best foster parents EVER! I ha__d my own room, and lots of toys. Sometimes Mr. Crowley would come into my room and brush my hair extra times at night if I couldn't sleep… not just enough like Mrs. Crowley did._

_He came into the room and looked around. It was kind of strange because he knew that no one else was here. He came towards me and started caressing my hair._

"_You're something special, did you know that Rosalie?" He had a sheen of sweat across his upper lip. He was pale and shaky._

"_Thank you, Mr. Crowley." I looked shyly down at my hands lying flat in my lap._

"_I was telling some friends of mine how special you are, too."_

"_Thank you, that's awfully kind of you." I was starting to feel a little nervous._

"_Rosalie…I brought my friends to meet you, is that alright?" His eyes shifted to the door and then back to me._

"_Um, I guess?" _

_He smiled weakly and got up off the bed. It wasn't long before there were two other men in the room with me. They towered over me. I wasn't nervous anymore. I was scared._

"_Mr. Crowley? I thought I was going to get some 'beauty rest'?" My voice was small and trembling._

"_Oh, Rosalie… you will. That's why we're here…"_

"Rosalie!" The booming voice pulled me out of my thoughts. How long had he been calling for me? I blinked a few times to clear the haze of memory away.

"Thank goodness! There you are! Why did you do that, sweetheart?" He rushed toward me and was immediately on his knees, delicately cupping my face in his strong hands.

"Emmett? Is everyone upset with me?"

Emmett chuckled. "Love, no one is upset. We're worried!" He ran his thumb gently across my jawbone. "We know this must be hard on you and we all want to be there for you." He looked at me with so much love in his eyes. "Love… I want to be there for you."

I managed a small smile and looked into his big brown eyes. "You are here for me." Hearing those words, he broke out into a huge grin.

"I'm so glad that you know that."

_I am the luckiest woman in the world. _

"Maybe we should head back and see what's happening with Bella?" Emmett asked.

I could see that he was anxious to check up on her. "I'm sorry that I pulled you away from everyone." I really was. _Shit! I need to stop doing this! I'm such a drama queen._

"No worries, Love." He grabbed my hand and pulled me up from the chair. "We can go now. Carlisle was only just starting on the clean up when you left. He wasn't ready to do all the cool, gruesome stitching and stuff. If we hurry, we can still catch it!" Emmett was bouncing up and down.

I smacked him in the arm. "You're such a big kid!" I couldn't contain the chuckle.

"I know I am." He wiggled his eyebrows. "That's why you love me."

_How right he is._


	5. New Beginnings

I apologize for the delay in updating. With the holidays, life has been very hectic. But, without further ado...here's the next chapter!

Oh! And for those of you wondering why I put male(s) and not men, it is because male encompasses ALL men and boys of all ages. The entire gender.

We, unfortuantly for it would make shopping easier, own Twilight or any rights to it, nor are we Stephenie Meyer. If we were we wouldn't be worrying about cash flow.

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BPOV

I woke slowly, trying to cling to the darkness that was residing in my mind. It was safe there. No one could hurt me. Snippets of information began filtering through my senses. I was lying on something soft, too soft to be my ratty old futon. The air was kissed with a mixture of floral and spice instead of the hint of decay that came wafting up through the old ventilation system to my apartment from the butcher shop below me. There was a throbbing pain in my right leg and my mouth was drier than a desert. _Damn, I need some water. _I thought as I struggled to swallow.

Voices murmured somewhere close by. They must be in a hallway, and they were only getting louder. _Oh, please, what's going on?!_

My eyes flew open quickly, to assess the situation. I wasn't at home, that much was already clear. And if I wasn't there, that left the question of where was I? Quickly sifting through my memories, I tried to figure out where exactly I was. I remembered leaving for lunch and Mike grabbing my wrist. Edward and the others coming to my rescue and the director telling me to take the rest of the day off. Alice convincing me to go to lunch with them. Returning to my apartment to freshen up. Then leaving the apartment. Falling through the stairs, then nothing.

The voices in the hall came closer, allowing me to just barely hear what they were saying. I squeezed my eyes closed and forced my breathing to steady, a trick I'd learned over the years. I had no desire for them to know I was awake yet. As long as I remained asleep, no one would hurt me. I'd be left alone. I clung to that thought like a life preserver. They were close enough that I was able to tell that they were male.

"Is she awake yet?" Edward.

"I could hear the door being opened. There was silence for a moment. I reminded myself to inhale slowly.

"No. Not yet, which is probably a blessing." Unknown. Oh god. Were they waiting for me to wake so they could torture me? Edward had been safe so far. Had he been lying to me? Was he biding his time?

"How's she doing?" Panic. Scared. Terrified. Take your pick. _Exhale, Bella…you can do this._

"Stable. I was going to check on her." _Why? Do you want to see if I'm awake so you can hear me scream?_

I felt the blankets lifted off my right side and then a cool hand touching my skin. _Males! Touching me!_ I gave up on pretending to sleep. Opening my eyes, I screamed, jumping off the bed. Ignoring the pain in my leg, I ran towards the nearest corner. Shaking, I squatted, hands and back pressed against the wall.

"Please! I swear, I didn't do anything! Don't hurt me! Please!" I whimpered. My leg collapsed under my weight, leaving me curled in an oddly shaped ball. I squeezed my eyes shut and prayed silently—frantically, for everything to go away.

"You weren't exaggerating, were you Edward?" The second voice asked softly. _Softly?_ I forced my eyes open and looked towards the sound, seeing the ownder to be as tall as Edward with blonde hair and blue eyes. He wasn't muscular per say, but looked to be nicely toned.

"This is what she did just as I was trying to help her from the stairs." Edward's velvet voice washed over me and for the briefest second, I knew that everything would be okay.

_Shit!_ I snapped back into the moment when I realized I risked being lulled into a false sense of safety. "Please, I swear, I was good! I didn't touch anything! Don't do anything to me!" I pleaded, lips quivering, tears streaking down my cheeks. Why did they always want to hurt me? Was my mere presence offensive? Edward took a couple of tentative steps towards me. I tried crawling into the wall, shaking with fear. Couldn't they leave me alone? I just wanted to be safe!

"Bella, love, you need to calm down and listen. Shhh…you're alright. Bella? Bella, do you remember what happened with Mike?" His voice was soft, soothing, luring.

I knew it to be a ploy of some sort, but I didn't want him to hurt me. I already hurt so much. I decided to play his game and nodded in reply.

"I asked to see your wrist, right?" Again I nodded. "I didn't hurt you then, did I?"

I shook my head, wondering if this was part of his plan…entice me with the promise of security and then snatch it all away.

He was still talking. _Crap! I need to stay focused!_

"When you fell through the stairs yesterday, your leg got cut up pretty bad. I know you're scared, but will you let us look at it? Let my father treat it again?"

I forced my right hand to release the handful of denim I had unknowingly been clutching, running it up my leg until I felt the bandage. I couldn't risk letting Edward or the other man out of my sight, thus reconciling myself to be satisfied with a touch only.

Edward crouched down where he stood, putting us at eye level with one another and gestured to the blonde. "This is Carlisle. He's my father and a doctor. Will you let him look at your leg? He treated it yesterday."

_What? He'd helped me? Like Edward had? He had a chance to hurt me and didn't? Lies. It had to be lies. No one ever helped me. He was a wolf in sheep's clothing just waiting to hurt me_.

I heard more voices approaching the room from somewhere else in the house.

Biting my bottom lip, I glanced towards the open door, wondering if I could make it out without them catching me. When Carlisle took a step closer to me, I snapped. I willed my legs to work, then pushed up and bolted, knowing with certainty that my life depended on this one action. Pain shot through my leg like a knife, causing me to cry out and stumble. I felt more pain when my left leg slammed into a corner table as I fell. A wave of nausea washed over me as I struggled to keep it together. I just had to! They were going to hurt me! I had to get away! I didn't want to be hurt anymore!

They weren't to be trusted! I wasn't worth anything to be deserving of help. The pain in my left felt like I was on fire and as I stepped onto that foot it gave out. I cried as I fell towards the floor, Edward catching me before I hit. I screamed and started thrashing out, oblivious to everyone else rushing in.

"Bella! Please! Stop! I'm not going to hurt you!"

I didn't listen to his begging and kept trying to free myself from his grasp. He was going to hurt me! They only ever touched me to hurt me!

"Drama queen, aren't we?" I thought I heard Rosalie mutter under her breath, a distinct bit to her tone.

"Rose, you don't know what she's been through." Alice responded. I didn't hear Rose speak again.

"What is going on in here? Are you killing the poor girl?" A new voice asked. At her mention of killing, I froze and began trembling. What if they really were going to? No one would notice that I was gone! I didn't mean anything to anyone! I wouldn't be missed! What a pathetic life I'd led. The realization left me empty and I slumped forward in resignation.

"Finally." I heard Edward mutter before he swept me up into his arms. I started struggling again, trying to break free, but with less conviction this time. "Bella, if you don't stop, I'll end up dropping you and I don't want to do that."

I stopped moving and closed my eyes. I hurt already and the nausea still hadn't subsided. I didn't want to add to it. I _really_ didn't.

If I hadn't known better, I would have sworn I was floating. I could barely feel the sway of Edward's steps as he made his way back to the bed I had been inhabiting only minutes before…though it could have been hours for the exhaustion I felt.

He reached the edge of the bed and, still graceful and careful, he managed to set us both on the bed with barely a jostle.

"Alice, will you bring me a brush please?" Edward asked, sitting down in the middle of the bed resting against the headboard. He finally set me down between his legs, close enough to wrap his arms around me, but not so close that we were touching.

I wondered how he couldn't notice the fear that had to be dripping off my body.

The new woman walked over and sat on the edge of the bed near me. "I'm Esme. I'm so sorry if my pitiful attempt at humor upset you. I truly meant you no harm. My husband, Carlisle, treated your leg."

I watched her wearily, not speaking. Truthfully, my legs burned and I was afraid that if I dared to open my mouth, I'd whimper or scream in pain. Fortunately Esme didn't look as if she expected a reply.

"Your leg is bleeding again, Bella. The stitches may have torn. Will you let Carlisle look at it? I'll sit here with you the entire time."

There was movement beside me. Alice appeared with brush in hand, eager to render any assistance necessary.

"Thanks Alice." Edward spoke softly to her as I decided to chance a glance down at my offending limbs. The white bandage on the lower right was red. I ran my finger alone the edge of the gauze. I'd never really been treated by a doctor. The few times I had had been for broken limbs only. I was so confused. They wanted to help? Did they want me to heal so they could reinjure me? I was getting a headache from my conflicting thoughts and emotions. They didn't seem to do anything like any of the others.

"Edward, maybe you should let me do that." Esme spoke. I blinked, looking up from my leg as Edward moved to sit in front of me and Esme sat behind me. I felt something gliding through my hair and turned partially to see Esme holding a brush poised to run it through again. Shock froze me. In all my years no one had shown me such a kindness. I'd longed for it as a child, but never received it. Yet, here she was brushing my hair. It felt oddly _comforting._

Esme smiled and whispered, "Face front so I can continue. I'm not going to hurt you."

Dumbfounded, I did as told and looked at Edward before glancing at Carlisle. No one else was in the room. _When did everyone else leave?_ The sensation of Esme's strokes through my hair soothed my ragged emotions and I whispered, "My legs hurt."

I looked at my lap, not daring to look at any of them. I watched in shock as a large set of hands grabbed mine and looked up to see Edward holding them. I tugged gently and he immediately let go. I held my hands out again and he took them once more. I repeated the process two or three more times and each time he let go. I'd seen some of the littler kids in some of my foster homes playing games like this…they drop the keys to the floor, someone picks them up…they drop the keys to the floor, someone picks them up…I wondered when Edward would stop playing the game.

As if reading my thoughts, he answered me. "Bella, no matter how many times you do this, I will always let go." He chuckled taking my hands in his once more. I left them there.

The strokes of the hairbrush slowed to a stop. Esme shifted so that her leg was crossed behind my back and out of the way before returning to playing with my hair. She leaned towards my ear and whispered, "I promise you're safe."

I couldn't understand why she had made the statement until I looked up and saw him. There I was, letting my guard down again! _Idiot!_

He looked uncomfortable as he spoke to me. He cleared his throat. "Bella, I'm Carlisle Cullen. I'm a doctor and just want to help you. I don't want to hurt you, so will you please let me know if anything I do causes any pain? That way I can stop."

He…he was asking me to let him know if he hurt me? He wanted to let him know when I hurt so he could stop. I blinked, unsure of what do to. My body told me to go run screaming. All of this was a lie. Hide. Save yourself. But, something in me started hoping…hoping that someone in this world was finally telling me the truth.

"She'll let you know, Dad. Right, Bella?" Edward squeezed my hands gently and leaned forward. I stiffened slightly before nodding. I watched as Carlisle unwound the bandage revealing a long jagged cut along my right calf.

"You suffered some scrapes and bruises to your left leg, and I think I'll have to check it again after that fall, but this is the worst injury." Carlisle informed me as he finished peeling away the bandage.

I was bleeding again, but I'd bled so much over my life that blood did not bother me. Carlisle pulled some more gauze out of a black medical bag next to him and worked on getting the bleeding to stop. I could see where it had first been stitched and they were ripped about halfway down. He'd definitely have to re-stitch my leg.

I watched as Carlisle re-cleaned my wound, keeping up a running commentary about what he was doing. I chuckled to myself. There'd be no way he'd sneak anything by me this time.

APOV

I stood in the doorway watching Esme brush Bella's hair and Edward holding her hands, wondering what he'd done to get her to allow him to be that close. She'd shied away from him before. Whatever they'd done, I was pleased she was at least allowing Dad to treat her leg. I couldn't help but smile at the sight.

"She's just doing it for attention, you know." Rosalie commented quietly from behind me. I turned to face her, incredulous! I grabbed her hand and dragged her into the living room before speaking again.

"Why do you say that, Rosalie?" I asked, exasperated, as we sat down side by side on the couch.

"All you have to do is watch her and see she's acting. She didn't go through what we did! She can't know and understand! It's all an act." Rosalie's voice was hard, cutting.

I sighed with frustration, looking towards the hallway. "We can't assume, Rose. You, of all people, should know that! What if she really did go through something?"

"She didn't."

"And what if you're wrong?" I faced Rose again, my lips in a firm line.

"I'm not." Her tone left no room for argument.

Sighing, I pulled my phone out of my pocket as it started ringing. "Alice Brandon."

"_Ms. Brandon. A pleasure to speak with you."_

"How are you, Mr. Jenks?"

"_Doing well. Thank you for asking. I was able to get a hold of some information for you. It's not much, though."_

"Anything is better than nothing."

"_Very well then. Her name is Isabella Marie Swan. Her mother died in childbirth and there was no record of a father in any of the paperwork I could access. She was immediately put into state's care after birth."_

"What else? Any other family? Adoption?"

"_Her state file is, of course, sealed and it will take some time to open it. I didn't find any adoption filings."_

"Anything else? There's got to be more than just that."

"_She's worked at the studio for the last four years, part-time."_

"Part time? She was supposed to work an eight hour shift yesterday?"

"_Her employment records list her as part-time. No emergency contact, either."_

Well, if she were only part-time, that would explain why she didn't want to leave work yesterday. If she wasn't full-time then she was losing pay by not being there. I bit my bottom lip for a moment thinking about this new little tidbit of news. "Did you find out any other information?"

"_No."_

"How long to get access to her state file?"

"_I'm not sure. It's sealed and in order for me to access it, I'm going to need Ms. Swan's permission or call in some very serious favors."_

"I'll work on getting that consent for you. Thanks so much, Mr. Jenks."

With another sigh, I hung up the phone and started rubbing my temples. I could feel a headache coming on. Rose couldn't stand the silence and demanded, "Well?"

"Her mother is dead and her father unknown. She was given into state care, but her file's sealed."

"She's acting. A girl like her would get all the best homes. Moms clamor over the sweet and innocent ones."

"Rose…please…we don't know that. We don't know anything about her." I pleaded, as Jasper walked into the room.

"Alice?" he asked softly, walking over to me and lifting me up before sitting down in my spot, me on his lap. I closed my eyes and I hummed content to be in the arms of the man I love. My bliss was soon interrupted.

"Bella is sleeping again." Carlisle announced coming into the room, Edward, Emmet, and Esme following behind him.

"Alice? You look down. What's wrong?" Esme came over and kissed my cheek before sitting down on the loveseat next to Carlisle.

"I heard from Mr. Jenks. Bella is, for all intensive purposes, an orphan. She was given into state care at birth, but her file's sealed so he wasn't able to tell me anymore on that. There's no emergency contact on her employment record and she's only part-time."

"I wondered why she was so eager to go back to work yesterday." Jasper mused. "No work, no pay."

"What are we going to do?" I asked, looking around at each of my family members. No answers were forthcoming.

"I say we send her home, end of story." Rosalie huffed, getting up and leaving the room.

Everyone's eyes followed her as she exited.

"Do you think I should follow her?" Emmett asked the room, unsure of his next action.

"No, give her some time to think. This must be hard on her." Esme said sadly, still staring after her daughter.

I could only shake my head as I replied. "She thinks that Bella's acting and hasn't really suffered. That this is all just an act." I informed her, then noticed a look shared between her and Carlisle. A look that said there was something going on and Rosalie most likely was wrong.

"Carlisle? Is there something you're not telling us?" I couldn't keep myself from asking.

"Alice," He dragged his fingers through his hair and continued, "You know that there are things in this world that I can't answer…even if I wanted to and even if it would benefit someone..." I could see the conflicting emotions in his eyes. It was obvious that Carlisle knew something and it was killing him not to share.

"Well, I'm not a doctor and I'm not bound by some oath to keep my mouth shut." Jasper suddenly spoke up. "Someone should have spoken up on her behalf a long time ago…"

Jasper's act of bravado was immediately shut down by Carlisle's stare. "Jasper, you were called into that room to help, not start some personal crusade to rescue a damsel in distress. You will say nothing." His words were sharp and left no room for interpretation.

"Yes, sir." Jasper mumbled looking away.

Edward looked both anguished and furious as he watched the scene play out. Carlisle saw his expression and knew he felt the same way as Jasper.

"Alright, everyone take a deep breath. We need to calm down and figure this out." Carlisle started pacing.

Edward interrupted and decided to take control of the conversation. "I think it's safe to say that Bella has some 'issues' that require addressing immediately. Medically, she's in no condition to be in that apartment. We know that she can't maneuver the stairs, even once they've been repaired…if they bother to repair them at all!"

Everyone nodded in agreement, but Emmett, who had been surprisingly quiet decided to add his two cents with a bit of flourish. "Well, I think we should head on down to that landlord's place and crack some heads!" He cracked his knuckles and popped his neck to help get the point across.

I cringed. "Emmett, that's disgusting!" I had to say it. That was just revolting.

His laugh boomed through the house in response and with it, the tension in the room dissolved. The buffoon had a way about him and we all loved him for it. With that healthy distraction out of the way, we were finally able to get down to business and put a plan in place.

Now we just needed Bella to agree…and Rose to…something?


	6. Mother's Love

If you've been reading this story since the beginning...or are a frequent visitor to the site, you know...standard disclaimer...

If the above doesn't apply to you, well then...I don't know what to say...standard disclaimer

So, without further ado...well this is creating further ado isn't it? Anywho...here ya go!

* * *

RPOV

_Unbelievable!_

Why wouldn't they listen to me? Why couldn't they see what I saw? She was acting. Faking it! How could _she_ know and understand what Alice and I had dealt with? The pain and horror? She was sweet and innocent. Hell, she was a newborn when she went into the system! There's no way she'd have been left to rot in foster care like we were. It's only the older ones that are made to suffer… Moms loved that "brand new baby smell" and would have clamored to have her as their daughter.

Sighing, I sat down on my bed, tears slowly streaming down my cheeks, fingers clutching at my hair. Why? Who did she think she was? What spell had she weaved over them? I'm _family_ and they wouldn't even listen to _me_! I had to prove that I was right. The only problem was figuring out how I could do that. But do it I would, damn it! They _had_ to know. They had to see.

My mind kept churning over the different scenarios that could play out if she wasn't stopped…she'd give a bad name to those of us who truly have suffered! Alice didn't know what she was talking about. There was no way I was wrong. For all we knew, she was a drug seeker and Carlisle had played right into her hands with his heroic morphine administration…. None of us had seen exactly what had happened in the alleyway before this all started, plus she didn't know that I had lived what she was acting. _Ha!_ She couldn't even fake it correctly. Overdramatizing was a dead giveaway that she didn't know real angst from a hole in the ground.

I would prove to all of them that she was a liar. I would…or my name isn't Rosalie Hale Cullen.

BPOV

I woke with a horrible feeling of déjà vu, the only difference being this time I knew _exactly_ where I was. Blinking, I sat up in the bed, moving back to rest against the headboard. I couldn't believe how exhausted I was, even after my unintentional nap or two. I noticed the brightness of the room as the sun streamed in through the elegant, cream-colored sheers that covered the enormous window. I pushed the extravagant bed covers back, planning on getting up and finding a place to relieve my strained bladder. I hadn't intended to, but the cool air on my skin forced me to take a good look at my legs. My jeans had been sliced up the sides to allow for access my injuries.

_Crap! Now I have to find the money for a second pair of…oh. _

Gasping, I blinked back hot tears of shame. The pants were suddenly a non-issue as I realized…someone had seen my scars! _They knew. Oh god!_ Were they going to say anything? Would they use me like the ones before? I would have a huge target on my forehead now that they'd seen I was already broken in. I put a hand over my mouth as the tears started falling, trying to choke back the sobs that desperately wanted out.

_Oh gods. Oh gods!_ This is what I get for my stupidity! I land myself in the hands of even more males! I didn't move, wondering what they'd do to me if I tried to run again, not that it mattered. With my legs in pain, it was obvious that I wouldn't be running from them anytime soon. There were four males! I was in way over my head, and, considering all of their sizes, would I even survive the ordeal?

I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't fight. I'd been doing it for so long that I honestly didn't think I had anything left. None prior had ever been as large as these ones were.

The women seemed happy, but that could be because they didn't know about the males'…other _past times._ They'd probably had no clue what would be done to me. What I would be condemned to when they had invited me out for lunch…was it only yesterday? How long had I been asleep?

Determined to be free, to give voice, the sobs I was trying so hard to prevent burst forth. I fell to the side, curling myself into a fetal position, ignoring the pain that shot through me at the weight put on my injured legs. I couldn't convince myself to move to a more comfortable position. Why should I care about that pain if more was on the way and would most likely hurt ten times as much, if not more? I'd survived worse, too. One would think I would be use to it by now.

I had buried my head in a pillow, trying to muffle my pathetic cries. I didn't hear the bedroom door opening or the voices coming to an abrupt halt at the sight of my trembling form. I was suddenly acutely aware of the arms that curled around me, pulling me against a very solid and male chest.

"No! Please, just let me go! I won't say anything…I promise!" I sobbed, giving a halfhearted struggle.

"Shh…Bella, it's alright. We're not going to do anything to you. Please, shh…" Edward's velvet voice wrapped around me like a security blanket, scaring me and motivating me to increase my attempt to get free of his grasp. It barely registered in my mind that he was rocking, back and forth…back and forth.

"Bella, please, let me help you…let us all help you. Please, stop crying." He whispered against my ear, tucking my head against his neck. This was it. He was getting me into position. I went limp. It was going to start. My head lolled to the side and I caught a glimpse of the others. _Witnesses._ I knew how it was going to be. Soothe me before inflicting the pain. I was too emotionally exhausted to put up much of a fight. Besides, if I didn't fight, maybe it wouldn't be so bad.

"Is she alright?" I heard Emmett ask.

Edward didn't answer immediately, instead, lowering his face and murmuring something softly into my hair. I wished I could understand what he was saying, but, before I could worry about it further, he raised his head and responded.

"I don't know, Em. I really don't know." Edward replied, pain evident in his voice.

Someone else spoke. "Bella? It's Carlisle."

_The doctor._

"Bella, I'm wondering how you're doing? Is your leg pain manageable?"

His concern was bewildering. I gave a curt nod in reply while trying to avoid his scrutinizing gaze.

"Good, but if that changes, you need to let me know. Okay?" He shifted a little, trying to catch my eye. I refused to cooperate and looked towards the incredible window, wishing I could be out in the sun, basking in its warmth. Carlisle cleared his throat and continued. "We'd like to talk to you, actually. Would you like to come out into the living room with us? Have some lunch, perhaps?"

My stomach growled in answer to his question. I heard him chuckling quietly, the laugh making me nervous. It sounded innocent enough, but until I could read his mind, I'd have to go by instinct and my instincts were going berserk with all the mixed signals.

I nodded my head in reply to his earlier question and shifted away from Edward's body as inconspicuously as I could. I didn't want him to know how afraid I really was. The movement brought back the, now urgent, pressure building in my bladder. _Shit! I'm going to wet the bed in the arms of my newest 'owner'. _I tried shifting to relieve the sensation, but Edward was two steps ahead of me. Before I knew it, he was moving off the bed with me still in his arms.

He carried me to a door just off to the right of the entry to the room. Setting me on my feet, he kept his hands on my upper arms, helping me balance. "This is your bathroom. There are towels in there for you to shower. You'll also find a toothbrush, paste, hairbrush...anything you should need to freshen up. Alice also laid out some clothes for you to change into. They should fit…Alice is pretty good about things like that. Take your time. Lunch is just cold cuts, fruit and such. It'll keep while you do whatever you need to do."

Gasping, I turned to look up at him. Sincerity radiated from his eyes. He wasn't joking. I could take as long as I wanted in there. What a luxury. Even at home, I couldn't linger. The hot water just never lasted very long., not surprising considering what I ended up paying at the end of the each month. But, here!…All I could do was gape, opening and closing my mouth like a fish before finally managing to get out just one word, "Bath?"

"Yes. You can even take a bath. If you want some help, I'll ask Esme, Alice, or Rosalie to come give you a hand." He gestured to the women, who had, at some point, joined us during our curious exchange.

Biting my bottom lip I shook my head no. Someone had already seen the scars and I didn't need anyone else seeing them. I certainly had no desire to explain where they'd come from. That was for sure. Esme chose that moment to act and headed into the bathroom. I took a moment to listen to the water rushing forth from the faucet somewhere behind me. Slowly, terrified it would be snatched from me; I took a step towards the bathroom door.

I didn't feel the pull until it was too late to stop the motion. I could feel the tear of the stitches and the ache of the bruised muscle. Neither leg could do anything more than support my weight and my first attempt at motion without the benefit of adrenaline to motivate me had disrupted my tentative balance. I closed my eyes and put my arms out to brace myself for an impact that never came. I kept my eyes shut tight, whimpering and praying silently that what I feared most was not going to happen.

_Please don't be Edward, please… oh, please don't be Edward. _He couldn't possibly think I'm any more pathetic, could he? _Why do I make it so easy for men to want to do this to me?_

"Bella?"

_What? Esme?_

"Well," Esme said, looking startled by her sudden catch, then smiling sweetly. "What fortuitous timing. Alice, could you come give me a hand please?" Esme shifted gently so she was supporting me more comfortably. I opened my eyes to see Alice immediately at my other side.

"Alright, Mom, where do we put her?" I could hear the teasing in her voice and relaxed just a bit.

"I think that, if I am guessing correctly, Bella has some _pressing _matters to take care of. Gentlemen…" Esme craned her neck to look around at the men surrounding us. "Your services are no longer required. You can leave now." I thought I saw her give a playful wink, but the desperation I was now feeling definitely overrode any suspicion I should have felt at that little gesture.

The two women together were pretty strong. I was surprised at how much support they could offer, especially with Alice and her diminutive stature. It couldn't have been a minute before I was standing in front of the toilet and my two 'assistants' were excusing themselves to give me a moment of privacy.

I froze as I listened for the telltale click of the lock. The door closed, then…_nothing? _I only paused for an instant. Realizing I was safe enough, for now, I quickly relieved my bladder and managed to pull myself back together.

The tub was still running, so it wasn't long before Esme knocked timidly on the door. I was, for all intents and purposes, stuck on the commode and couldn't do anything but call out that it was safe to come in.

She peeked in first, making sure I was decent, before stepping in to check on the progress of the bathwater. I followed her with my eyes, noticing for the first time that the tub was filling up with bubbles… _Bubbles?!_

She noticed the look of disbelief on my face as I stared to the froth behind her.

"You look like you've never seen a bubble bath before?" Esme spoke, looking nervous.

I didn't have words to answer. How ridiculous was it that I really hadn't?

The silence was awkward, to say the least, so Esme finally cleared her throat, clapping her hands together and continuing on. "Well, let's get you out of those clothes. You've been in them for far too long and I'm sure you'd like to have a chance to clean up." She straightened up after stopping the water and turned to move towards me.

Realization struck. I couldn't do this alone! _No. _

"Umm…" I threw my hands up to shield myself from her advances. "Please don't. I'm sure I can do this alone. I'll just…umm…I'll crawl. I'm p-p-p-painfully shy and-and…" I was stuttering I was so anxious. I didn't want to offend her at all. She had been so gentle, thus far.

She smiled at me, comprehension dawning in her eyes. _Could she know, too?_

"Bella, I understand your desire for modesty, I really do. The problem is that you are in no condition to do this alone. You can't get the stitches wet, the muscle in your other leg is still too tender to support your weight, and even if you could manage to get into the tub alone…" Her eyes were kind as she spoke. "You've just been in a traumatic fall and have been unconscious for an extended period of time. And, you've been medicated with some heavy duty drugs…Bella…I couldn't, in good conscience, leave you alone in the water."

I couldn't argue with her logic. _Damn it! I'm stuck._

"I have an idea." Esme offered.

I looked at her with anticipation.

"Let me go get something. I'll be right back." Without another word, she was out of the room.

I couldn't help fidgeting with the hem of my wrinkled shirt as I took in my surroundings. I was pretty sure this bathroom was bigger than my entire apartment. The luxurious creams and burgundies that made up the décor of the room were almost overwhelming when contrasted with the hodge-podge of mismatched linens I was able to afford in my little hovel of a home.

My contemplation was interrupted by Esme coming back in with something white and long draped over her arm. I cocked an eyebrow, looking at her

"A robe." She answered simply, walking towards me and extending her arm. "Here. Get undressed; then put this on. You can even wear it into the tub if it makes you more comfortable. I don't mind at all."

_Voila. Problem solved. _I sighed in relief.

"I'll just step out while you undress. Let me know when I can come back in." She exited again.

For the second time today, my jaw dropped as I stared at the now closed door. I was dumbfounded. Nothing was playing out the way I had expected it to, and I was struggling to wrap my head around it. Hmmm… I was so confused. I had forced myself to embrace and then let go of all my positive thoughts of Alice and the hope that maybe one day I could… I don't know. Anything?! I could have friends, a real job… love… "Arrrgh!" I couldn't help crying out in frustration.

"Bella, are you alright?" Esme was tapping quietly at the door.

I snapped back from my thoughts and hurried to strip and re-cover myself. "Sorry." I called out. "I'm almost done." I fumbled with the sash to tie the robe closed and then in a matter of moments I was ready to be moved.

"Am I allowed to come in?" She asked.

"Yea. I'm as ready as I'll ever be." I was barely whispering but somehow she knew that I needed her and came in.

"Well then, let's get this show on the road." Esme grinned.

I smiled at her tentatively as she stepped towards me. I raised my arms out to her, like a child asking silent permission for mother to lift her into her loving embrace. She was immediate in her action. As my face came towards her shoulder and her silken caramel colored hair, I was engulfed in the scent of orange blossom and vanilla. I was almost suffocated with the intensity of it. Then I felt it, and it was so different from any other touch I had ever experienced. I was absolutely overwhelmed as I savored the sensation of Esme's tender embrace.

"Sweetheart?"

_Huh? _I tried to turn to see who she was talking to.

"Bella, how are you doing?"

_She was talking to me?! _

"Okay, honey, we're almost here. I'm guessing that I'm doing a good enough job as you aren't weeping in pain." She laughed lightly at her own joke.

I blinked my eyes. In my distraction, I had missed the journey. Esme had managed to almost drag me a good ten feet to the edge of the tub without breaking a sweat. I hadn't felt so much as a jostle.

Now the tricky part.

I was perched on the edge of the bathtub. If I swung myself around carefully enough, I could get myself in without worrying about submerging my right leg. The idea sounded simple enough until it came down to the execution. I managed to get myself straddling the side of the tub, but it was deeper than I suspected. The water was the perfect warmth and I could imagine the feel of it on my tired body. I felt the tears welling up. I was so close to a luxury, yet so far…

"Maybe I can help?" In my frustration I had almost forgotten that Esme was there.

I nodded eagerly and quickly wiped my tears away with the back of my hand before meeting her eyes. "Please?"

She moved to the vanity and opened the door underneath the counter. With a swift motion, she pulled out a handful of white garbage bags before moving to the medicine cabinet where she produced a little spool of dental floss.

Satisfied with the spoils of her hunt, she approached me with items in hand. I must have been gawking again, as she just looked at me, shrugging. "Even rich kids break their limbs, you know."

I couldn't help but laugh out loud at the ridiculousness of the statement. _Holy crap! Was that me? _The sound was too foreign to be me…

Esme smirked and chuckled low as she worked her 'mom magic' on my leg. Within minutes she had covered my bandaged leg with enough plastic bags that only a monsoon would get my stitches wet… or an act of Bella.

With a little help from Esme, I managed to sink myself into the bath, moaning as the water caressed my battered body. My stitched leg was stationary, my foot pressed flat to the tub floor to keep water from leaking through the top of the bag. I felt a little stupid sitting there in the robe and knew I wasn't nearly as comfortable as I could be, but my options were limited. I would not acquiesce. _No more witnesses._

"Bella, the bubbles are frothy enough that you could take the robe off and still be covered. You know that, right?" Esme was sitting on the tiled floor next to the tub, looking at nothing in particular as she spoke. "As long as you don't sit too long, you should be fine."

I couldn't believe I was thinking about it. I'd honestly never had one of these before and the thought of doing it the right way was so tempting. I bit my lip as I considered it; my mind starting to rationalize. The longer I took to decide, the less time I'd have to soak if I ultimately decided to do it. And, if I was thinking of how much time I'd lose when my decision _was_ made, it seemed that my subconscious had already made the decision to do it. So, without thinking, my hands struggled to untie the loose, wet knot. It took some work, but I was soon slapping a wet robe onto the back of the tub… but not over the edge. I didn't want to get water on the floor and have Esme upset with me.

I tried sinking lower into the water so I could wash my hair. I could feel my scalp itching with the filth that sleep and sweat bring and it was making me crazy. I could get down just far enough that I could feel the water dancing on my shoulders, before my tenuous balance would falter and I'd slip—risking soaking my bandages.

Ever observant, Esme turned toward me. "May I?"

I felt so weak as I nodded again. _Pathetic Bella, can't even remove her own stink without help._ But they wanted me to bathe. This had to be preferable to leaving myself in filth and squalor.

"Scoot up a bit and lean your head back." Esme directed me. She had grabbed a decorative pitcher from the vanity and was dipping it into the water. I did as I was told and was rewarded with the gentle fall of water. She did this over and over, until my thick dark hair was thoroughly wet. Reaching behind me, she grabbed a bottle of shampoo and was soon lathering the strawberry scented suds through my hair.

"Lean forward." She whispered.

I closed my eyes, enjoying the relaxing feeling of her fingers massaging my scalp. She was taking her time, being thorough and, _loving_,at the same time. I couldn't help but wonder what it would have been like if…

"Bella," Esme whispered again.

"Hmm?"

"Why are you crying? Are you in pain? I can go get Carlisle."

_Crying?_ I raised my hands to my face, wetting the rest of my cheeks. It wasn't until I blinked that I felt the trail of warmth go down my face. "Oh. No."

"Hold on, let me finish this." Esme took the pitcher and rinsed my hair. Her fingers running through this time, brushing out my tresses as she went.

I was sad that the time was coming to an end. My inability to keep it together had once again put an end to something wonderful. _Great. _I kept my eyes closed and waited for whatever it was that Esme had in store for me, and then I felt her touch.

"Bella, what happened to you?" Her words were slow and quiet. Her finger was tracing a scar—long forgotten but only barely faded just before the hairline on my forehead. I'd been seventeen when I'd gotten that one…

_Oh no._

"Please. It's not the only scar I've seen in my lifetime… and not the only one I've seen on you." Her fingers moved from my face slowly to my back, where I felt her draw her finger along one of the long white lines along my shoulder blade. I was ten when those had happened.

I was paralyzed. I thought I could keep my secret safe… I thought I could pretend that I was fine… I thought… I thought… _God? What was I thinking?_

Esme leaned over and pulled the drain from the tub, sitting back down on the floor and waiting for me to do something. I wouldn't… no, couldn't move from my spot on the still warm marble. I was exposed. I remained there and waited for her. I waited for her to judge me for all of my deformities and weaknesses… because I was nothing but ugliness embodied—both physically and spiritually. I was numb.

I started shivering in my nakedness. Esme stood, leaving the room and returning with a blanket. She wrapped it gingerly around my shoulders, ensuring that my entire body was covered. She looked at me for a few minutes before finally speaking. "Bella. I don't know what has happened to you in the past. You're body tells a story I couldn't imagine for anybody. I do know that whatever it was…it was not something that you deserved, no matter what anyone said or did. I know that you need to tell to someone and I know that you're terrified of what that means. I know that you are something special… Alice saw it the first time she saw you…so did…well…she wasn't the only one to see the beautiful essence that you possess and I know that she wants to help you. We all do. Lastly, I want you to know that when you _DO_ decide to speak up, that I can be your sounding board if you want me to be. I can keep a secret safe. I can keep you safe. I promise that you are safe within these walls… and with all of us."

I couldn't find the words to respond. Who was this woman… no. Who was this angel among men that knew exactly what I needed to hear? I couldn't contain it any longer and let out a sob that shook within my chest. I wept as I thought of what Esme had said to me… no one in the whole of my entire life had ever used the words 'beautiful' and 'Bella' in connection with the other.

Esme must have sensed my emotional exhaustion. She didn't press me for a reply.

I looked down at my covered body and sighed.

Esme offered a crooked grin. "I know one more thing, for a fact."

I looked at her, confused.

"I know you're still hungry and we need to get to those cold cuts before the boys scarf every last bit… if you leave them to their own devices, they'll leave nothing but radishes and honeydew for us slowpokes." Her face was full of something other than the pity I expected to see. It was…compassion? She winked at me and…I wasn't afraid.

"Well then, I guess I'd better get my butt in gear and get out of here." My voice breaking with the last remnants of my emotional outburst.

"Well said, Sweetheart."

I raised my arms up again, embraced my Angel and felt that tingling again… of hope?

* * *

Ya know the drill...to review or not to review that is the question...

We've had wonderful reviews from all of you and some good suggestions...don't worry...things will work out as they are suppose to. We don't want to rush this...

It is a very serious topic and we'd like to make sure it gets the care it deserves.


	7. The Road Starts

Ya know the drill..not SM and all that jazz!

This is by far, I do believe, the longest chapter to date. Phew! What a work it has been. I think it's safe to say we're paving the way nicely. Bella has a lot to deal with and, yes, it's only the second day she's been with them. There's a lot going on and time can't always move with incredible speed. Healing takes time.

And, most importantly, make sure you give kudos to OrangeBlossom! She's been doing such a wonderful job!

* * *

EPOV

I sat in the wingchair tucked in the corner of the room, allowing the hum of conversation to wash around me as I waited. My thoughts were constant in their questions about the sweet woman down the hall who seemed to be goodness personified. If I hadn't watched the last twenty one hours play out before me, I would have suspected she was merely another out-of-towner working at the studios, while hoping for her big break in show business, because Ma and Pa Kettle couldn't bear seeing her waste her life away on the farm. The image of my sweet Bella in overall shorts and dark braided hair flashed into my head… _Alright, this is getting beyond ridiculous now… Pull it together Cullen! Where am I getting off calling her 'my' Bella?_

I knew, now, that, at least, part of that thought was a load of crap. We knew she was alone in every sense of the word. There was no one encouraging her to be something better. There was no one for her to run to when she needed support. She was terrified and, it seemed to me, on the verge of collapsing in on herself. I thought back to each of the episodes; the fear and helplessness that had radiated from her entire body had been so tangible.

Lastly, I thought of Carlisle and his theory. Was this post traumatic stress disorder? Was he right? And if he was, what battles had she been forced to fight on her own?

I was growing increasingly more frustrated over the mystery. _Isabella Swan, who are you?_

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of footsteps coming down the hall. I looked up, seeing Esme walking into the living room, _sans_ Bella. _Oh, god! Something's wrong with her_

"Where's Bella?" I demanded, unable to keep the concern from my voice.

Smiling, Esme glided across the room, sitting down in one of the armchairs opposite me, and crossing her ankles. "She's in her room, Edward, and she's fine. She's taking a couple of minutes settle down before joining us. She needs a hand to getting out here, though. I'm afraid the distance is a little much for me. Could you please…?" She trailed off innocently.

The memory of Bella trying to stand when I'd set her down in front of the bathroom floated through my head. Nodding in understanding, I stood slowly, fully intending on being her indentured servant for as long as she'd allow it. _She deserves it, after all. _"I'll go get her."

Before I could even take a step, Emmett jumped up and shouted, "Oh, hell ya'!" By the time I processed his words, he'd dashed out of the room, yelling over his shoulder, "Hold up a sec! DON'T DO ANYTHING 'TIL I GET BACK!"

Trying not to smirk too much at his _exuberance_, I stayed where I was, waiting for him to return.

"Um, is anyone else a little nervous about where he disappeared to?" Alice asked, clearly as baffled as I felt. I shrugged, moving to stand in the doorway, hoping Bella wouldn't think we'd forgotten about her. At least I could hear her if she were to call out.

I jumped a little when I heard a distinct "Wahoo!" echoing down the hall, followed by the clanking of something metal coming closer.

I spun my head around to see the cause of the peculiar noise so fast, I was surprised I didn't give myself whiplash.

_No. _I didn't know if I should laugh or yell at the sight before me.

"Uh… Emmett?" I spoke, chuckling; I couldn't help myself. The overgrown kid was skipping along, wheeling the wheelbarrow in front of himself, a huge shit eating grin on his face.

It didn't look like anything would stop Emmett from following through on his plan to come to Bella's rescue by_ 'less conventional' _means. Esme, however, had a different idea.

"Emmett McCarty Cullen! What on earth do you think you're going to do with that? You will turn around right now and take that filthy contraption right back out to the garage before you damage the carpets, young man!" Esme scolded, coming to stand next to me.

"Ahw, Mom! Come on! It'll be fun. Bella will get a kick out of it! We're all being way too serious, anyway. Let me lighten things up a little." Emmett whined, determined to make use of the wheelbarrow.

Shaking my head, I walked around him, heading down towards Bella's room. I knew Esme and there was no way Emmett was going to win on this one.

"Eddie! Wait up!" Emmett yelled pushing past me and causing me to flatten myself against the wall. It was all I could manage to make sure I wasn't hit by the wheelbarrow. Gritting my teeth at the use of his nickname, I started debating retaliation.

I heard him hollering as he rounded into the bedroom, "Bella!"

_Shit!_

I raced down the hall, hoping that what I feared hadn't come to fruition. I braced myself as I entered the room. What I saw made my heart break and soar to life at the same time. Her eyes were wide with fright and she was using her arms to pull herself up higher on the bed; perhaps, thinking that Emmett wouldn't dare touch the sanctuary of her bed? I wanted to rush to protect her from those imagined demons again, but knew better.

The man in me took a moment to note of the overall softness she seemed to possess, even as she cowered. The soft grey sweatpants and lavender long sleeved tee that Alice had laid out for her were draped modestly over her too slender frame. She was femininity incarnate.

"Emmett, what do you think you are going to do?" I whispered, moving over to Bella, who started trembling, as I drew closer.

"I thought we'd wheel her out to the living room." He sounded almost embarrassed as he looked at the terrified young woman. "I didn't want you to strain yourself." The reality of the situation was finally dawning on Emmett. The man was a child. How Rosalie put up with him, I, honestly, had not a clue.

"Emmett…" I started. "Esme is not going to be pleased."

Emmett's forehead creased. Watching the man concentrate was hilarious. I was half expecting him to stick his tongue out to help himself think better.

"A-ha!" He exclaimed, bolting off to the bathroom, without another word, and emerging with an armful of Esme's best towels. He lined the inside of the wheelbarrow in a matter of seconds.

"Emmett. Esme is going to flip when she sees what you've done." I shook my head in disbelief.

"Well, Eddie, the lady deserves to travel in style…" Emmett made a wide sweeping motion towards the makeshift chariot. "I don't think she's going to mind." He was amazingly confident.

"_Hmph._ I wouldn't bet on it."

Emmett wiggled his brows diabolically. "Care to make a wager?"

"Em, it's hard to collect winnings from a corpse, because you know Esme is going to kill you."

"Ed," He inhaled deeply and puffed out his chest in the ultimate show of male superiority. "I think I'm going to enjoy taking your money. I'll expect them to be crisp five dollar bills, consecutive serial numbers, please. Shall we bet, say…one hundred dollars?" He extended his hand.

I couldn't help snorting with laughter at the smug grin that appeared on his face. I took his hand, shaking on our newest wager. I needed a new steering wheel cover for my Volvo, and Emmett's money would pay for it just as well as any other.

My mood shifted immediately upon turning and seeing Bella on the bed. It seemed our brotherly interaction had done something to her. Her trembling had subsided and her mouth was hanging open in disbelief. _I'm such an ass! I can't believe I let myself get caught up in Emmett's stupidity. _Emmett seemed to notice Bella, too, because he immediately hunched his shoulders and put his hands into his pockets, trying to make himself look less threatening. The effort was pointless. This was Emmett, after all. At least he tried, though.

He saw me taking in his appearance and shrugged, walking over and shouldering me out of the way before kneeling in front of Bella. "Hey. I'm sorry for my rather loud entrance. We need to get you to the living room and I thought…well…maybe we could…that is… it would be fun if we… Ah, shit!" He ran his fingers through his mess of curls, looking to me to bail him out of the mess he'd gotten himself into.

I looked at her again, hoping she would see something in my face letting her know she was safe. Her reaction told me she didn't. If possible, her eyes went wider and she tried to scoot scooting further back across the bed. She was pinned. Emmett stepped back, waiting to see what I would do.

I walked to her slowly, arms wide and palms up. _It's like she's a wild animal._ I kept my gaze constant as I moved towards her. "Bella," I made sure my voice was low and reassuring. "Esme asked us to come and get you. She thought you might need some help getting to the living room. Can we help you?"

Bella continued staring.

"Bella, we're all waiting in the other room… just down the hall. It's not too far. Either Emmett or I can carry you or…"

She blanched, clenching her jaw at the mere mention of us touching her. I was concerned she'd vomit from the sheer stress she was putting on her body. I didn't want to push her any further, so Emmett and I stood there, quiet and staring, waiting for her to give us some indication of what to do.

She must have wrestled with her options for a good minute before clearing her throat in preparation of speaking.

"I'll go in the wheelbarrow." She barely whispered.

I couldn't believe my ears. "Pardon?"

"The wheelbarrow… could you pull it along side the bed and I'll crawl in." She blushed, looking down at her hands.

The grin that stretched across Emmett's face in that split second was the widest I'd ever seen on a human face. "Oh, hell, ya'!" He was beside himself with excitement. "Come on, Bells! Let's get this party started!" Emmett proceeded to the side of the bed, his hands raised to stop her from coming forward, and leaning towards her.

"Oh, please don't. I haven't done anything." The fear was back. Her eyes were darting to the door again; always looking for an escape route. I suspected all the adrenaline spikes were messing with her perception. I couldn't fathom her being so sensitive to such benign gestures. I'd have to speak to Carlisle about that.

"Bells, hun." Emmett said gently, "I know you haven't… I just thought you'd like your chariot to be a little more comfortable." He completed his motion, pulling back with a handful of pillows clutched in his massive hands.

"Oh… sorry." She sounded so weak.

Emmett fluffed the last pillow and we watched as Bella painstakingly dragged herself over to the wheelbarrow. It took a few minutes, but we were eventually on our way down the hall, transporting our precious cargo.

"Eddie," Emmett offered in stage whisper.

I rolled my eyes at his idiocy. "What, Emmett?"

"Do you think she'd mind if I sped up a little?"

"I wouldn't do it if I were you…"

"Eddie?"

"What now, Emmett."

"My idea wasn't so stupid after all, was it?" _Damn, he was a smug bastard._

"No, Emmett. It wasn't that stupid after all." _Did I really just admit that to him?_

"Eddie?"

"Emmett?" I couldn't help but growl out this response.

"Make sure you don't get any creases in those fives when you bring them to me later on… I wouldn't want to make you go back to the bank for fresh bills." With that, Emmett cackled hysterically, speeding down the hallway with only a small 'eep' escaping Bella's lips.

BPOV

It took a few minutes for me to catch my breath. It was definitely a ride I wouldn't forget anytime soon.

Esme waited for me to give a signal, before helping me get settled on the couch. My back resting comfortably against the armrest and my legs stretched out in front of me, an emerald green afghan draped across them.

Once I'd settled, she inquired, "Will you be okay while I go and speak with Edward and Emmett for a moment?"

I whispered, "I'll be fine."

Her face turned serious as she rounded on the two men, gesturing to the other side of the room sternly, and started walking. They followed.

I couldn't help but watch the scene playing out in front me. Esme was obviously trying to keep the conflict away from me, and for that I was grateful, but I was fascinated and wished I could hear their conversation.

Emmett looked repentant, yet determined to prove he was right and Edward was merely standing back, watching Emmett try to get himself out of hot water. Edward was smug.

Esme suddenly started gesturing wildly and Edward's eyes widened in disbelief.

_No way._

It was over before I knew it and Esme was coming back towards me. I couldn't help sneaking a peek at the men behind her. Edward was scowling, while Emmett did, what I could only guess to be, a happy dance while rubbing his hands together greedily.

_To be so carefree…_

"Alright, Dear. Sorry about that little delay. You just sit here and I'll go get tea." Esme smiled, patting my hands where I'd laid them in my lap. I looked up at her, baffled. _Tea? I thought we were_ _having lunch?_ Seeing my look, Esme started laughing. "Oh, it's just an expression I picked up from Carlisle. His father was the model of a true English gentleman and anytime we serve a light lunch like this, I can't help but revert back to what they'd always call it when I came to visit."

My eyes darted to Carlisle, who was trying to stand inconspicuously in the background. I gasped as our eyes met, looking down immediately.

Esme was perceptive enough to pick up on my discomfort. "Bella, what would you like for your plate. You must be starving and you have to be nourished if you intend on healing quickly."

I looked over to the small cart set up by the doorway, my mouth watering at the sight of the glorious colors before me. The red strawberries; vibrant oranges and peaches; rich, dark cherries and wild berries… there were even fruits I couldn't name. The beautiful vegetables were just as enticing. The freshness of the green and yellow string beans and unblemished creamy white of the cauliflower were nearly as tempting. I couldn't believe the variety of breads and meats either. I hoped I wasn't drooling as my eyes devoured the food laid out. A meal like this was something my meager budget never allowed for and I couldn't permit myself to pass up the treat.

I mumbled quietly, trying not to seem too excited. They already thought so little of me. "Some fruit would be lovely, thank you."

She turned to prepare it for me but took note of the time on the large grandfather clock. "Oh, I think that's a new record, boys! It's already one o'clock and there's still food worth eating! Is someone sick?" She placed her hands on her hips, giggling as she faced the males in the room. She shook her head at them in mock disappointment then went back to her task. "Oh dear, we're missing a plate. I'll sneak into the kitchen and get another. I'll be right back." And she walked out of the room.

It took a moment for her words to register. _One o'clock_. "One o'clock?!" I shrieked, moving to stand. "I have to go! I can't be sitting here! I have to get to work!" I was frantic.

Everyone in the room jumped at my outburst, unsure of how to respond. Edward was quickly at my side, the only person to move towards me, and with such speed that I didn't notice him until he was right beside me, his close proximity preventing me from moving.

He reached out, as if to touch me, thinking better of it and stopping. "Don't worry, Bella." He soothed. "We've called the studio and explained what happened. They know you won't be in for at least a week, maybe even two. It all depends on how fast those sutures heal up. Besides, you know you can't stand, how are you going to manage to work?"

I settled back down on the couch, tears gathering in my eyes. He was right. I could barely stand, how was I going to be able to work? But, still…I was going to starve this next pay check. I'd probably be able to cover some of my bills, but that was it. What was I going to do? Maybe my landlord could work with me and I could pay half my rent now and then… _No, that wouldn't work at all. That man wouldn't know compassion if it snuck up behind him and bit him in the ass. Damn it. _I couldn't afford to miss _any_ work. I needed the cash, and I knew that there was always a line up of girls who'd give their right arm to fill my position.

I didn't realize a single tear had streaked its way down my cheek, falling on my hand, until Edward put a finger under my chin and lifted my face. "Bella, what's wrong? Are your legs hurting?"

I quickly shook my head, forcing myself to stay calm from the unwanted contact and unable to explain. It was all I could do not to scream. I couldn't risk opening my mouth to explain my working situation to them. I shouldn't be here to start with. _Shit! This is so messed up! _What would they think of me if they knew the truth of my existence?

"Bella…" Edward trailed off. "What is it?"

I shook my head again, pulling away from his finger and wiping a hand across my cheek.

"Edward, what's wrong with Bella?" Esme inquired, walking back into the room. I continued looking at my lap, missing Edward's response.

"Hmm…well… I don't really know."

I turned to look at the back of the couch, leaning my head against it and closing my eyes. I stopped paying attention to what was going on around me, but, I couldn't tune out the sounds. I heard something being set down on a table nearby and the rustling of someone shifting fabric. The feeling of someone playing with my hair brought me back to reality.

I opened my eyes, turning my head to see Esme sitting behind me, on the arm of the sofa. She had a relaxed look on her face as her fingers played through the long strands of hair that had fallen over the arm. Closing my eyes, once more, I leaned my head back, giving her better access. It felt heavenly. It soothed my frazzled nerves and brought a strange sense of peace to me. _How foreign_.

I hadn't realized I'd let out a purr of pleasure until Esme chuckled. "Has no one ever played with your hair, Sweetheart?"

"No." I whispered, letting myself get caught up in the unbelievably warm feelings washing over me. I was so consumed in how it felt, I was aware of nothing around me, until someone shook me. My eyes flew open in shock and, I screamed, pressing myself into the corner of the couch, looking around to see who was going to hurt me.

Esme seemed terrified, her hand raised out to me. "Bella, sweetheart, I'm sorry."

I started panting, gazing at her. She lowered her hand, speaking again. "Edward has put together a plate for you. I hoped you wouldn't mind. You seemed to be so relaxed and I didn't want to stop so I figured that…" She looked uncomfortable. "I'm so sorry. It's just… you weren't responding to our calling your name…"

I slowly turned my gaze away from Esme, glancing around for Edward and finding him perched on the couch by my feet, holding a plate of food in his hands out towards me, not moving an inch. I remained frozen, my heart still pounding and my breathing still labored.

What felt like hours later, but really could have only been mere minutes, Esme resumed playing with my hair, calming me down. Cautiously, I lifted my hands, taking the plate from Edward, who adjusted the afghan on my lap. I hadn't noticed that it had fallen to the floor. He sat on the floor, positioning himself at my feet.

Edward nodded his head towards the edge of the couch, "There's a small table there for you."

I glanced down, seeing what looked like a TV tray next to me, Alice standing beside it holding a teapot, a cup and saucer already on the tray.

"One or two?" She asked, cautiously.

"One or two, what?" I replied, baffled. I didn't have a clue what she was talking about.

"Sugars. Do you want one or two?"

"Uh…two?"

Alice put the teapot down on the coffee table and picked up two more things, setting them down on the tray, as well. One was the sugar pot, as she took the lid off and used a pair of tiny silver tongs to take out two cubes of sugar, putting them in the tea, before setting a third on the saucer. "In case two isn't enough. Do you want some honey?"

I nodded, watching as she poured some honey into the cup as well, stirring afterwards and setting the spoon down.

"It's vanilla tea. It will help soothe and calm you." Esme informed me.

Taking a deep breath, I looked at what Edward had selected for me. There were a few small sandwiches, some blueberries, strawberries, and raspberries, and some slices of cheese and crackers. I picked up a sandwich and started nibbling, tasting cucumber.

"Bella…" I heard Carlisle speak softly and I looked up, seeing him standing beside Edward. He crouched to my level and held out a prescription bottle to me. I made no move to take it. "I've prescribed you some antibiotics. I assumed you have no allergies so it's basic, just penicillin. The boys told me the stairway was old and we need to make sure you don't get an infection."

All I could do was stare. Never trust males with medicine. You never know what it is and what it will do. Punished or not, there was no way I would willingly grab that bottle and take it's contents. I couldn't risk it. Apparently Edward could. He took the bottle from Carlisle, opening it and taking out one of the pills.

"Bella, you need to take it. If you don't, you risk a serious infection in your leg that could lead to complications and loss of the leg or even death."

I must have looked like a two year old, folding my arms across my chest, and squeezing my eyes and mouth shut. He was bluffing. I'd had plenty of injuries and nothing _too _permanent had ever come of my not getting treated. After all, I was very rarely treated… _He'd _always said if it didn't kill me it would make me stronger.

Carlisle spoke again, "Bella, I took an oath when I became a doctor. In it, I promised to keep the good of the patient as the highest priority and to never do deliberate harm to anyone for anyone else's interest… you are safe in my care, no matter how you look at it." He was blushing a little as he finished proclaiming himself to be my protector. "Now, in all seriousness, you need to take these. We would all feel horrible if something as preventable as an infection became an issue."

I turned to stare at Esme, certain she wouldn't intentionally steer me wrong. I opened my eyes, slowly looking up at her. The look on her face was one of sheer horror. _Dear God, please no._ I couldn't lose my leg! How would I work? How would I get around? Turning back, I reached over and took the pill from Edward, taking a sip of the tea to help me swallow.

Alice handed Edward a plate and the room quieted as we ate. First and foremost, I was waiting for the pill to take effect. I knew what Carlisle had said, and I wanted to believe him, but the proof is in the pudding, right?

I tried making sure that I ate slowly, not wanting to upset them though I desperately wanted to scarf it down. I didn't know when I'd get to eat again or if I'd even be allowed to finish this meal before things took a turn for the worst.

There'd been times when meals had been few and far between. I'd become adept at not only devouring what I'd been given but, if hoarding was at all possible, stashing food as well. As desperate as I was to do that now, I wouldn't dare. Technically, I was still a _guest _and needed to tread lightly. I wouldn't provoke their anger.

"Emmett, did you go speak with Bella's landlord?" Carlisle's question interrupted my thoughts and, without making it obvious, I paid close attention to the conversation.

"Yeah. Royal jackass. Claims he warned her before she moved in and if she'd been paying attention, it wouldn't have happened." Emmett responded. They were talking about me…My curiosity was justified.

"Is he at least going to fix them?" Carlisle continued.

"No. The nut sack says it was her fault and she can fix them."

Great, just what I needed. I couldn't afford to fix the steps. First I had to worry about rent, then bills, food, and I only had one pair of pants left. There was just no way. I didn't even know how bad the damage to the staircase was. Could I get away with not fixing them?

"He really wasn't very helpful, and given the damage, there's no way that they can be used without being repaired. I checked them out again when we went to talk to the idiot. I'm surprised that death trap of stairs hasn't given out before now!" Emmett added. Well, there went that. Now I'm homeless as well. Smashing! How was I to get my belongings?

"She'll have to stay here." Edward spoke softly, his comment causing me to look down at him. He was more confident as he spoke to me. "You'll stay with us."

Blinking, I opened my mouth to refuse; only to have Alice cut me off. "Yea! This is wonderful! We'll have the best time and I know we'll be great friends, Bella! I just know it."

She was bouncing in her seat, a huge grin on her porcelain face, but there was no way I could accept. I didn't know these people. Did my thoughts matter, though? The males could easily overpower me and prevent me from leaving. I'd been in worse places in my life. Was it worth the grief to even argue? Everyone was still being so hospitable. I sighed, knowing what I had to do. I responded politely, "Thank you."

"I'd like to move you upstairs into one of the larger rooms so you'll have more space. We'll keep you down here for another day or two while we fix up a room for you. By then, we'll be able to pick up some crutches for you and you'll be as good as gold. Is there anything back at your place that you'd like the boys to get for you?" Esme inquired.

I shook my head frantically. They'd already seen the outside of the place, what would they think if they saw the inside? Someone had already seen how abused I'd been, I definitely didn't need them looking into other aspects of my life as well.

"Are you sure?" Esme pressed.

I opened my mouth to tell her no, but shut it realizing there were some items I needed. Clothes. I only had the outfit I'd been wearing since yesterday and the jeans were destroyed. I couldn't very well walk around naked… unless that was what they wanted? It still meant they'd have to enter my hole of an apartment. And honestly, most of my clothes were dirty and lying on the floor of the bathroom. It was embarrassing to think of them rooting around through all of that.

Giving another sigh, I started twisting my fingers together in my lap, looking down at them. "I…ummm…"

Edward was in front of me, trying to catch my eye. "Bella, are there any items there that you really want? You don't need to worry about clothing. I'm sure that Alice has already planned a shopping trip to take care of that when you're all healed up."

I started shaking my head. "No, I couldn't accept that!" _If I did, I'd owe them… that can't happen._

"Oh hush, Bella. I love to shop! I've already told you that. And nothing you say or do is going to prevent me from purchasing some new clothes for you. I will continue to repeat myself… you really have no say." Alice grinned, nodding emphatically and giving a little humph.

I conceded defeat on the matter. I hadn't been able to stand up to her yet and I wasn't sure that I ever would. She seemed harmless enough—in a crazy money-spending obsessed sort of way. Well, if clothes were taken care of, then, "No. There isn't anything back there that I need."

Uncomfortable with Edward's face where it was, I pulled my head back, trying not to be obvious about what I was doing. I didn't succeed. Edward noticed and pulled himself away. It still left him very close to the rest of my body, but I figured I could easily kick his precious jewels if I needed to. It wouldn't buy me a lot of time, but it would hopefully buy me enough.

"Are you done eating?" Carlisle inquired, noticing I'd stopped. I wasn't really full, but I nodded my head, watching Edward take my plate and put it on the cart by the door. Without any prompting, a woman stepped into the room and hastily collected all the remaining dishes. She was gone as quickly as she had arrived, taking the cart of food with her.

I'd finished my cup of tea and, as Esme had said, found it very relaxing. "May I please have some more tea?" I sounded so timid.

"Of course, Dear." Esme stood and poured me another, pouring in some honey before asking, "Did you have one lump or two?"

I had really enjoyed the third lump in my previous cup and wanted three again. Of course I wouldn't ask for it, though. I wouldn't dare to be impolite and risk their anger. _I should remember to be grateful for whatever I was given. _I was surprised to see Edward step in and solve my dilemma for me. "Oh, she used the third cube…"

"Three it is, then." I watched as Esme added the three lumps before handing me the cup and saucer. This family was definitely very different from most of my foster homes. They hadn't done any harm to me, instead looking out for me.; cCaring for me.; Ttreating me. And, if I stayed, it sounded as if Alice would spoil me.

"Well, I for one think that this is going to be freakin' awesome, Bella." My thoughts were interrupted by Emmett's booming voice. "I love having little sisters and you'll certainly keep things exciting around here! Welcome to 'Casa de Cullen'" Emmett looked so happy.

"Excuse me?!"

_Rosalie. _I cursed myself for not being aware of my surroundings once again. _What is it with me and this family? When had she stepped into the room?_

Everyone turned to face her.

"Are you trying to tell me that this piece of trash is going to be staying here?! With us?" Rosalie was livid.

"Rosie, baby." Emmett stepped towards her.

"Don't you 'Rosie baby' me! She has all of you fooled! You watch. She's going to bring nothing but trouble and grief to this household!"

Alice piped up in my defense, but I knew it didn't matter. I shut down in that moment. Again, hope was starting to just barely bubble up within me— maybe it would be alright, then nothing. How quickly that feeling could be extinguished. All it took was one acknowledgement from someone who saw me for what it was and it was all gone.

I knew it would be impossible for me to find a place to really belong. I was used, abused, stupid and ugly. Compared to the rest of them, I really was the trash that Rosalie accused me of being.

I guessed that was what really made the difference. Seeing them all together, I knew that the women in this room were above my life. I could see their unblemished faces and could only imagine the flawless skin that lay beneath their designer clothes. It was only me. No one would ever care. I don't think I cared, either.

I made the decision to leave. No one would notice my disappearance. I just needed to suck it up and move, slowly.

The loudness of the room increased. Everyone was involved in the argument now and the noise was overwhelming. I could feel my heart starting to race and the sweat beading my lip. I couldn't find the strength to get up from my cushy seat. I closed my eyes and willed myself to calm down. _Too late. _

The nausea and dizziness struck next. Even with my eyes shut, I could feel the effects of the vertigo. I started gasping for air.

I thought I heard someone speaking my name. I was confused though. It sounded like whoever was calling to me was standing at the end of a very long tunnel. _Tunnel?_

The images started flashing behind my eyelids. _Memories._

There was always so much pain; the injuries, the blood flowing so freely, me—crying on the dirt floor in the corner of the cellar. There was always ripping, tearing, punches, lashes…

I could feel myself falling; more memories. Gashes left unclean until the pus and heat were unbearable, the alcohol to clean my wounds and the screams that no one ever heard when the sting was too much. It was all too much.

I tried to open my eyes. I tried so hard to bring myself back to the Cullen's and their tea and sandwiches, but all I could see was a swirl of faces. I was drowning…

I could almost feel my eyes rolling back into my head as the merciful darkness claimed me fully.


	8. And The Oscar Goes To

No SM...yada yada...but, got to put it...

So, thankfully this chapter was being written as the last one was being edited. After all the reviews, we thought it pertinent to get this chapter out as soon as possible.

Don't worry, Rosalie's behavior will be explained! Just stick with us!

Thank you for such great reviews! We're thrilled to know that we are doing a great job on this!

* * *

EPOV

The chaos surrounding Rosalie's entrance into the room certainly caused an uproar. Reflecting back, I noticed Bella had been quite startled by her arrival, and I wondered if that was what had kick started, what turned out to be, one doozy of an anxiety attack.

I felt horrible for not noticing it right away. She was right beside me and I wasn't paying attention. By the time I saw it, the gasps she was taking were so loud that even Rosalie eventually stopped to watch. I tried so hard to get her attention, to yank her out of whatever thoughts were pulling her under…

I was grateful that she was here and not back on the studio lot with someone like 'Mike' to give her a hand. I could barely contain my shudders at the mere thought.

When her head lolled to the side, I freaked. It was like I couldn't breathe unless she was alright. I had my hands on her shoulders and started calling out and jostling her, praying she'd open those beautiful brown eyes. I'm pretty sure Carlisle was getting ready to pull out another one of his 'magical shots' for me if I didn't calm down, and fast. I was ready to jump in and start performing CPR if someone else didn't start doing something immediately.

I felt the pressure of Jasper's hand on my shoulder, calming me down almost instantaneously. He was so quiet; you'd forget he was in the room with you sometimes, but at moments like this… Jasper was truly a Godsend.

"Edward, back off and let Carlisle do what needs to be done." Jasper whispered in my ear. I listened to his words, the anxiety fading... well, at least I wasn't completely losing my mind with panic. He definitely had the ability to soothe the troubled soul.

Jasper stayed close by as I hovered over Carlisle, watching what he was doing. He had his handy pen light out again, checking to make sure that Bella's condition was not serious. With the events of the past…_Crap, has it been less than twenty-four hours? _Well, with everything that had already happened, I couldn't help but question how Carlisle would diagnose her.

I tried not second guessing, but everything I'd learned in medical school was swirling about in my head. This was insane! The rate of recurrence of her fainting spells was so frequent, I was certain there was another underlying condition we'd need to worry about. Maybe it was some sort of cardiac obstruction or a transient ischemic attack…_Shit! She could be having little mini strokes as we speak!_

I couldn't contain myself any longer. "Carlisle, maybe we should…"

He knew exactly where my mind was going. "Edward, she'll be fine." He didn't even turn away from her to address me.

"But I was thinking that…"

"Edward, you have to stop." His tone definitely stopped me in my tracks.

"But what if…"

"Edward, listen to me, because I'm only going to say this once…"

I waited with bated breath for the words of wisdom that only Carlisle could offer me.

"If it walks like a duck, and it talks like a duck…" He started, turning his head and cocking an eyebrow, waiting for me to finish his thought.

I couldn't contain my snort. "It's not aortic stenosis." I replied, rolling my eyes.

"Exactly."

I could hear him struggling to stifle his laughter as he straightened up, turning to look at me. "Look, Edward, I understand your concern. Truthfully, I'd hope there was another cause for all of this, but I don't think there is…" His smile faded ever so slightly. "True, she's a little underweight, most likely anaemic from the looks of her complexion, but we've already seen how violently she reacts to male contact. This attack started even before Rosalie entered the room. I was watching her, Edward. I could see the signs of the attack starting as soon as she noticed the clock. She never managed to calm down from it completely. It may have looked like she did for a few moments, yes, but she was always on edge…the more I see of her, the more I'm convinced that my initial diagnosis is correct. This has to be PTSD."

Alice's hand flew to her mouth in horror and she gasped, "What do we do?"

Realizing the futility of trying to keep any sort of secret at this point, Carlisle cleared his throat. "With cases this severe, to the point where she can barely function in society, she would require medicating, cognitive therapy, and maybe even institutionalization if it became too unmanageable."

I was at a loss_. Institutionalization?_ "No."

"Edward, you need to take a step back and look at the whole picture."

"No!" I shouted. "YOU need to take a step back, Carlisle!" I shocked myself with the tone I was using now… _with Carlisle_.

Esme stepped towards Bella, putting a supportive hand on her shoulder, hoping that the pointless gesture was not lost on the lifeless girl on the couch. "Edward. Please calm down. This tension is benefitting no one."

The sound of my own anger was still echoing in my head. I tried suppressing it and clinging to the words that Esme had spoken. This really wasn't doing anyone any good. I went within myself. I had to. _Pull it together, Edward. Bella doesn't need this kind of shit. She needs calm… cool… collected… I can do that._

I pulled in a deep breath, closing my eyes and exhaling. I twisted and craned my neck, trying to release the stress that had decided to settle there. It barely helped, _just barely._

I drew in one more breath before opening my eyes to address Carlisle again. "You're right." I finally moved from my spot on the floor, where I had been paralyzed from the onset of this newest nightmare. I positioned myself in front of Carlisle, leaning over Bella. "You're sure that she's just fainted again, right?"

Carlisle nodded stiffly.

"Fine. I'm taking her to her room and letting her rest a little more comfortably. We'll figure out what we need to do when she's awake. Until that happens, this entire conversation is moot." With that, I lifted Bella delicately from what had become her swooning chair and, slowly walking out of the room, ignoring the looks of shock and sadness on the faces of my family.

BPOV

Quiet.

I knew I shouldn't expect the sounds of the saw blade from the butcher shop below. I could recall the conversation, the arguing, the panic… I knew that I was homeless now, but…

Strangely, there was nothing to observe around me. No male cum

nursemaid. No quiet whispering in the hallway. No water running in the next room. I could barely pick up the hum of the air conditioner blowing through the vent by my bedside. There was only—quiet.

I couldn't bring myself to open my eyes, in case I was mistaken. I needed to savour this. I was alone; honest to goodness alone for the first time since this all began.

_Bliss._

I knew it wouldn't last for long, so I wiggled myself a little further into the luxurious comforter that was spread across the bed and decided to drag this precious reprieve out for as long as possible.

I knew that I was getting close to falling asleep when I heard them in the hallway. Their words were growing louder, but not like before. _At least it isn't all of them._ I fought the urge to groan, knowing that any audible sound would have one, if not all of them, running into the room at the drop of a hat. I knew I couldn't deal with that again.

This was one of those moments where I needed to listen…not react.

RPOV

We all sat, waiting; waiting for some sign of life from the room down the hall. We all seemed to be afraid to speak…or maybe it was just me. When Edward returned _sans _Bella, he had this look on his face that basically screamed 'don't'… so we didn't. Even Carlisle chose to stay silent for the time being.

I will admit that Bella's latest performance was pretty amazing. It was understated, but poignant. I could almost hear her thought process as I watched. _Alright, no one's looking, time to really bring it… _She brought it, alright.

I've seen actresses make themselves cry. Heck, I could do it if I was motivated enough.—or at least if the camera close up really required me to bring on the water works, but to actually make yourself pass out! _Wow_. I figured that was the point of the breathing exercise she had performed… simply incredible. If Oscars were given out for being totally over the top, she'd win—hands down. _I_ couldn't even look away once she had really gotten started.

I couldn't take the silence anymore. Jumping up out of my seat, I went towards the hall. "Well, I'm going to see if our 'Dame Bella' has chosen to take her curtain call for this performance." I announced.

I should have kept my mouth closed, because Edward was hot on my tail. _Wonderful. Just what I wanted… company. _

"Rosalie, you should leave her alone." He hissed. "She's had enough excitement for today.

I ignored him and kept moving. The room wasn't too much farther. I could feel the sneer stretching across my face. I guess Edward noticed it too.

"Rosalie, please, I'm begging you." He sounded pathetic.

_Wow, it hadn't taken him long to switch tactics. Bad cop… loser cop. Cute._

"What do you want, _Edward?_" I couldn't keep the snide tone from my voice.

"It's not what I want, Rosalie. It's what I need. I need you to give her a chance. Please?"

I could feel him put his hand on my shoulder, trying to stop me. I had to give him credit, he was tenacious. It was, however, unfortunate for him that I possessed the same trait. "No."

"Rosalie, now is not the time to be stubborn and dig your heels in. She needs our help!"

I couldn't respond for a moment. We were right outside of her room and I was losing patience with his antics. I had things to do. I whirled around, looking him in the eye, his hand falling away. "Look, Edward, I get that you want to tap some of that, but I'm not going to allow some fraud to come into our house and make _MY_ sanctuary into some kind of a joke!"

Edward was silent.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go and check on our _guest_."

His hand moved back to my shoulder, tightening ever so slightly.

"I'd highly recommend that you get your hand off of me before I do something I won't regret." I'm certain I snarled the words.

He was calm. "Rosalie, why are you doing this?"

"Do I need to repeat myself?"

"No, Rosalie, I hear what you're saying—but why are you _really_ doing this?"

I opened my mouth to answer, finding myself at a loss for words.

"Shit, Rosalie. I saw you when you came home for the first time_. I SAW YOU! _If you are really going to do what I think you are going to do, then I need you to do something first."

Edward paused, giving me a chance to throw in my snotty remark. I had nothing.

He took my silence as permission to continue. "I need you to sit back and remember. You need to remember what you felt when you walked through those doors. I need you to remember how terrified you were of us when you got here… how you hid in closets and refused to sleep anywhere unless Alice was there with you. Then, Rosalie, when you are done with all of that, I need you to remember how good it felt to know that you were finally safe."

My eyes brimmed with tears I refused to shed. "It's not the same, Edward."

"Fine, let it be different, I don't really care." His voice was trembling now. "I only care that she has the same chance to heal as everyone one of us did when we came into this family."

I couldn't speak. I couldn't—anything.

We stared at each other for a few seconds and then I had to do it. I looked away. I couldn't stand to see the pleading look on his face. I did the only thing I could do…

_I walked away._

BPOV

_Oh, my…_

I was afraid to move. I could hear Rosalie's stilettos clacking on the marble tiles outside my door and I knew _that_ confrontation was over.

_But where was_ _Edward? _

The question barely had time to fade in my mind before I heard the soft padding of feet on the carpet.

"Bella?" Edward whispered.

I said nothing. My eyes stayed closed as I forced myself to keep breathing steadily_… in and out, in and out…_I was so grateful he couldn't hear my heart pounding in my chest.

"Bella. I know you can't really hear me, but I want you to know something…"

_Inhale… exhale… inhale… exhale…_

"We don't know you… who you are, where you've been… well, we don't know much of anything right now. It frustrates the hell out of me that you're such a stranger to us… to me… when all I want for you to be happy, Bella. I want you to be happy here, with us…" He was struggling to get the words out.

_I just need to bide my time. Inhale… exhale… inhale… exhale…_

"Bella, I want you to feel safe… all the time…"

_SAFE? Oh, no… inhale… exhale…inhale…_

"Oh, Bella, there's so much we could all share with you… to help you… to make you stronger. Please. You just need to let us in."

My mind and body were in conflict. I was willing my eyes to stay closed. He couldn't know I was awake, but his silken voice was calling to me. He was compelling me to listen and obey… but I couldn't allow it. _Remember. Listen, don't react._

The room was suddenly quiet again. _Had he left?_

I felt the bed shifting and I knew that Edward was closer to me than I'd liked. My body stiffened. _Please don't hurt me, please don't hurt me… _I kept repeating my mantra in my head.

"Bella?"

I could feel his warm breath on my cheek. It was all around me. I was trapped and trying to convince myself again that he was sincere.

"I promise I'll never hurt you."

His long, soft fingers trailed from my jaw up towards my cheek. He paused, turning his wrist and checking my forehead for any signs of fever. I could swear I heard him breathe a sigh of relief as he felt the coolness of my skin.

"Sweet dreams, Bella… for me?"

After a moment, the bed shifted again, the same footfalls treading towards the door and then the sound of leather soles clacking against the marble tile told me that my other guest had departed.

I waited for a few minutes, listening for anything that could interrupt my contemplation.

_Nothing._

I forced my eyes open, staring at the empty doorway, shaking my head in disbelief.

_Did I really just hear what I thought?_

My mind was at war within itself. _I was safe… I was in danger… I was cared for… I was despised… _

The dichotomy in my head was causing physical pain, the headache that I'd had earlier in the day creeping back into its little hiding spot at the base of my skull.

What was I to do?

The situation I was finding myself in seemed to have no solution. Do I stay or do I go? Was I expected to believe all of these people merely because they said to?

I forced the conflicted thoughts from my head and focussed more on my breathing. I could feel my heart rate starting to return to normal and the pain in my head starting to dissipate a little…_mmm…I feel so much better when I can just let it go…_

With nothing more to really distract me, I brought my hand up to my face, tracing the path that Edward's fingers had followed so delicately only a few minutes earlier. I wondered if there would ever be a day when…

I couldn't continue with the thought. It was too much and too soon. I only hoped that one day…

* * *

cum (preposition)

cum [kum]

with

together with, along with, in combination with, or functioning as (informal)

- He lives and works in an apartment cum office.

Reference: Encarta Dictionary: English (North America)

It's all the perverts out there that made the spelling taboo ;)!


	9. Kitchen Break Downs

Alright, so first and foremost: standard disclaimer, yada, yada, yada. We don't own Twilight and aren't SM and are just taking the characters into our own imaginings.

Second, we apologize for the length of time it takes us to update. There are two of us writing this and schedules don't always match and it's not an easy story to write! We're dealing with a hard topic here.

Third, there's some buttons and drop down menus at the end of the chapter. We just ask that you review us and add us to your favorites or alerts. It makes us feel good!

Fourth, read the chapter!

* * *

JPOV

Sighing, I set the book I was reading in my lap, turning my head to look out the window. Night was falling and hidden lights strategically placed all around the grounds were beginning to illuminate the backyard. Still, there were areas that were left in shadows or complete darkness - much like Bella's past.

Bella. She'd been through a lot in her life, of that I was sure. How else could she have gotten the scars on her legs? And her reaction? She acted as if we were going to harm her any chance we got. What kind of monster had gotten to her?

I thought back to this afternoon and how things had played out after she'd fainted.

_I watched Edward carry Bella out of the room, everyone falling into complete silence as he did so. None of __us saying a word. Edward came back a few minutes later _sans _Bella and wearing a look that screamed for us to remain silent; so we did._

_Rosalie, moments later, jumped out of her seat, walking towards the hall saying, "Well, I'm going to see if our 'Dame Bella' has chosen to take her curtain call for this performance."_

_Edward followed behind her, chasing after her. The rest of us remained quiet, listening to the raised voices down the hall. Thankfully they weren't loud enough for us to make out the words, so it was unlikely they would wake Bella._

"_I don't understand why Rose is doing this," Alice commented sadly, moving to stand next to me. I shook my head. If I had an answer, I would give it to her._

_Esme couldn't contain herself. "I saw what happened to Bella. Well, the results of what happened anyway. She isn't being dishonest about this. From what Rosalie has told us, what she went through, it's nowhere near what Bella has gone through. I'm not saying that Rosalie isn't entitled to her feelings…it just so…so… GAH! I just don't understand," Esme was near tears, sitting down on the couch in Bella's vacated seat and wringing her hands nervously._

_Carlisle walked over to her, sitting down next to her, and pulled her into his arms. "I don't understand either, Honey. We'll just have to leave Rosalie be and help Bella for now. I need to get down to the hospital and pick her up some crutches. I was absolutely positive we had some__hanging __around__. You'd think with three boys and all their shenanigans, we'd have held onto at least one pair!"_

_Emmett rubbed the back of his neck as he and I shared a quick glance between the two of us. We did, at one point, have a pair of crutches here at the house. However, they'd__been confiscated by us three guys in some prank or another and in a covert effort to reclaim our weaponry, they had been destroyed. We'd never told Esme._

"_I thought we did? Weren't they in the attic?" Esme spoke up, looking curiously at Carlisle._

"_I looked up there, they aren't there," Carlisle mused, as Emmett and Edward, who'd returned just as Carlisle mentioned the crutches, made strategic exits from the living room._

_I bent down and kissed Alice's neck before exiting after my brothers. Alice looked at me funky, "Where are you going?"_

"_Uh…the library," I supplied nervously, leaving. The prank may have been years ago, but Esme would still have our hides for it if she found out. The three of us were just heading upstairs when Alice walked out, looking at me pointedly._

"_I thought you were off in the direction of the library. Which, last I checked, was downstairs, not upstairs," she stated._

"_Uh, yea, I was," I stuttered, walking back down the stairs and in that direction until Alice's next words halted me mid-step._

"_You three wouldn't, perchance, know where the crutches are, would you?"_

"_Well…" Emmett started._

"_See…" Edward added._

"_Crutches?" I asked, turning to look at her._

"_Right," Alice sighed, spinning around to go back into the living room. "Esme's not going to be happy with you, you know."_

"_You aren't going to tell, are you?" Emmett squealed. For such a huge man, he was terrified of Esme._

"_Why shouldn't I? Bella needs those crutches," Alice paused, looking over her shoulder at us._

_Aw, crap! She had that look. You didn't need to be a rocket scientist to figure out what that crazy woman was plotting for us. _

_We exchanged a glance between the three of us, heaving a sigh before Edward bit the bullet and spoke up, "One shopping trip."_

_Alice raised a delicate eyebrow in his direction. "One shopping trip a person, and each person must go on the shopping trip of the others. So, that would be a total of, oh, three shopping trips."_

_Blackmailing Pixie. I suppressed a groan. I loved Alice dearly, I really did. But, I wasn't looking forward to shopping trips. Then again, it did get us out of trouble with Esme. I looked over at my brothers. Emmett was once again rubbing the back of his neck. Edward, in typical character, was pinching his nose between his thumb and forefinger._

"_Take it or leave it," Alice taunted, taking a step in the direction of the living room._

"_Fine!" we agreed, Edward and Emmett heading upstairs after and I to the library as Alice smirked in victory._

I was pulled from my thoughts as I heard Alice's high-pitched voice, "And, this is the library."

"You have a library?" Bella inquired softly. They had to be close to the door if I could hear her.

"Well, it doubles as Carlisle's officealso, but, yea," Alice told her, opening the door. I saw Bella hopping in on the brand new aluminum crutches Carlisle had procured for her, looking in awe around her. I figured she was taking in the opulence of the room.

Esme had done it in a typical English library. The walls were painted a deep green. In the dying light of twilight you could barely see the rich color for the darkness of the walnut bookcases lining the walls. Instead of one desk tucked into the corner, Carlisle had two… his and one for anyone who felt a need. Carlisle encouraged all of us to seek out knowledge, and wanted to ensure that we had a place to do so. I closed my eyes and remembered some of the more involved movie roles Alice would research while sitting at that second desk. The tiffany lamp casting its beautiful diffused light making Alice glow… _God, that woman is so glorious_…

They had stopped behind one of the large, overstuffed dark leather armchairs that Esme insisted on scattering through the room, because 'a library can provide brain candy as much as it can provide intellectual nourishment, and I sure as heck am not reading my gothic romances while sitting at a stuffy desk!' I refrained from snickering out loud at the memory.

Bella was leaning onto the back the back of one of the more prominent chairs, trying to relieve some of the weight her tiny arms were supporting. Her eyes were tired but alight, trying to take in the sheer mass of volumes of poetry, philosophy, fiction, medical journals and such. Heck, I think that Carlisle might have held onto my secret stash of Batman comics from when I was a kid and burrowed them away somewhere within the shelves. I couldn't keep from smiling at the memory of my secret childhood superhero fantasies… and one of the reasons for the crutches in the first place.

I was excited to see how _almost _comfortable she seemed to be in the presence of all this leather and paper. Her hand left her crutch handle—hesitantly, and moved toward one of the shorter freestanding shelves in the middle of the room. She was almost reverent as she near worshipped the smooth surface and all its holdings.

Sensing her increased ease, Alice left her side,

"Do you like to read?" Alice asked, dancing over to me. She took the book from my hands and placed it on the table next to me before snuggling down into my lap.

Bella looked at where Alice had been standing and, seeing that she wasn't there anymore, franticly scanned around for her, visibly freezing in place when she saw me, the fear rolling off her in waves. I stayed still, waiting for her to provide me some sort of cue. I wouldn't allow myself to be the catalyst for another attack.

Alice saw my hesitation, cocking her head to the side and speaking quietly, "It's alright, Bella. He's not going to do anything to you."

Bella didn't take her eyes off me as Alice spoke and didn't respond either. I stood up cautiously, picking up Alice in my arms at the same time, and setting her back in the chair afterwards. Alice looked at me nervously. I shook my head at her, praying that she'd remain silent. I didn't want to risk Bella being startled by anything right now.

Walking over to a smaller bookcase near Carlisle's desk, where Esme kept most of her books. I ran my fingers over the spines, glancing at Bella out of the corner of my eye, trying to figure out what she would like to read. Not finding anything, I walked across the room, taking a route far from where Bella stood, feeling her gaze on me the entire time. Hmmm…she had an injured leg and wouldn't be moving around much. With that thought in mind, I pulled _Gone With the Wind_ from the shelves.

Slowly, as if I were approaching a wounded doe, which was probably accurate in this case, I made my way to the table not far from where Bella was standing.

I put the book down, looking at her as I backed away. "If you'd like something to read, since you're probably not going to be moving around much, I picked a long book."

Her eyes shifted between the book and me before she hopped over to it and lightly ran her finger over it. As she spoke, her voice was quiet and timid. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Alice stood and made her way over to Bella, picking up the book. "Do you want to read it?"

"Yes, please." I strained to hear her whisper.

I smiled at her answer, resuming my seat; pleased she'd liked my choice. "When you've finished that one, let me know and I'll bring you another one."

Biting her lip, she looked at the ground for a moment, as if she were debating something within herself. "Okay."

Alice, perhaps sensing that Bella was reaching the limit of her newfound bare tolerance of all things 'man' piped up, "Bella, we need to get you a snack! Are you ready to go check out the kitchen?"

"Um, sure." She mumbled.

Alice clapped her hands together and grinned. "Well then… let's get this show on the road!"

Bella cast one last look around the room, like she was trying to memorize it. She straightened herself up and went to turn away. She paused, looking like she was having some sort of internal dialogue. I thought, for sure, that she'd leave the room as fast as those crutches would carry her, but she stayed still for a moment longer. I could only watch. She closed her eyes, drew in a breath and, in the lowest of voices, said, "Thanks."

With that one word, she quickly left the room, Alice following behind her book in hand.

Well, that went rather nicely.

EmPOV

Edward and I sat in my room playing Xbox. We were on strict orders to not play in the media room for fear of disturbing Bella. Poor girl was as skittish as a colt.

"Dude, I'm thirsty. You want anything?" I asked Edward.

"Yea. I'll come with."

After pausing the game, we raced downstairs and towards the kitchen. Esme was standing at the sink with her back away from us. She'd never see my incredible tactical maneuver—my one sure-fire way to ensure my ultimate victory. Oh yes, at the last minute I shoved Edward out of my way.

"I win! Eat my dust!" I yelled, spinning around to look at my brother, but he wasn't looking at me as he ran past. Turning, I saw him catch Bella before she fell to the ground, scooping her up in his arms. Her crutches clattered to the floor. I hadn't even noticed she was here.

"Emmett, what have I told you about running in the house?" Esme turned and demanded as I looked at the floor, feeling guilty for scaring Bella. "I'm sorry."

"Bella, are you okay?" Alice's voice registered in my ears and I looked up to see Edward still holding Bella, carrying her over to a kitchen chair.

He set her down gently, kneeling in front of her. I walked over and as I got closer, I could see her shaking. In Edward's haste to catch her, her shirt had ridden up some and just as Edward reached out to pull it down, Alice screeched.

"Oh my god! What happened to you?" Alice demanded, shoving Edward out of the way to examine the criss-cross of scars on Bella's stomach. Bella blanched, pulling her shirt down and shaking her head violently.

"Alice, Edward, Emmett, why don't you go…" Esme started, hurrying over to Bella. "Oh, just go. Leave the room. Bella, dear, are you alright?"

She knelt in front of Bella, as Alice and Edward moved out of the way. Bella looked terrified. She was holding her arms crossed around her middle and tears were making their way down her cheeks. Esme turned her head, and seeing us still standing there, ordered, "I told you to leave the room!"

Honest to goodness… Esme told us to leave, and every fiber of my being wanted to turn tail and run faster than a bat outta hell, but I couldn't move from my spot. None of us could.

Edward and Alice were still close enough that Bella knew she was being watched, and I wondered if she'd have calmed down by now if Eddie-boy would just back off and give her a little space. The look on his face told me that he wasn't going anywhere.

"Bella," Esme smoothed her hair and spoke softly, "You need to calm down. Can you do that with me?"

Bella's breathing quickened as she looked up and caught sight of her witnesses.

"Bella, please? Just watch me and we'll get through this…breathe in with me, Bella…deep breaths, hon. C'mon." Esme was firm. She took hold of Bella's face and tried to force her to focus.

Bella's gasps were coming quicker and sounded almost painful. She shook her head, trying to escape from Esme's grip. "They s-s-s-saw…" She choked out. "They k-k-k-keep l-l-looking at them!"

_Was she freaking out because of the scars?_

Her panic was still escalating. Her eyes were wild, like she was trying to find some way to escape all of this. She was losing it, and fast.

I started flashing on Dad's words. Bella was way too cool to be stuck in some institution. _Shit! She let me play chauffeur to her with a damned_ _wheelbarrow_. _This girl was meant to be a Cullen! She was just a little late coming to the party! Besides, there was no way she'd be able to make it in one of those places_. Just the thought of it was pissing me off. I couldn't help myself. All I could think was, "C'mon, Bells… you can do it." I chanced a quick glace over to the others and I knew they were doing the exact same thing.

"Edward!" Esme barked out his name.

"Yeah, mom?"

"You need to go find your father now! Tell him to bring his bag!"

"NO!" I raised my hand and gestured for him to stop. It was a completely knee jerk reaction, and I hadn't meant to shout, but the idea of her being knocked out again was really starting to freak me out.

Esme's eyes broke away from Bella for just a moment as she tried to gauge my reaction. "Emmett… not helping." She mumbled through clenched teeth. Edward hadn't moved from his spot, waiting to see how this played out.

"Aw, hell!" For just a minute I considered walking out. This was total bullshit. Just because things were a little rough they were going to do this!

Then I had an idea…

"Eddie, over there…now." I motioned for Edward to step behind Esme. I followed behind and took a quick second to position us so Bella could easily see both of us.

"Bella, can you see us?" It was a stupid question, but I needed to know she was paying attention.

She nodded as she forced in another breath.

I looked her straight in the eye. "Look at us." I turned and looked at Edward, glancing at his stomach, hoping he'd get what I was trying to do.

Bella's eyes widened.

"Bella, just look. Esme will keep you safe. Remember?"

Esme looked nervous as she caught my eye. I gave her a firm nod of reassurance.

Bella tried to nod again, throwing a fearful glance toward Esme. I wasn't really sure how much longer she'd be able to stay conscious. She was already so pale. I hoped she was getting this.

Simultaneously, Edward and I raised our shirts. Truthfully, if this were any other time, I'd be flexing my guns and showing off all my hard work. After all, this was definitely a physique to be appreciated by the masses. We just needed her to breathe—fast!

"Honey, look… we have them, too."

Alice gasped when she realized what we were doing and immediately took up a position beside me, hiking her skirt up higher to reveal the jagged three inch scar she had on her thigh. Edward was busy contorting himself to show the intricate spider web-like lines he wielded on his side. I looked at her, straight on, placing my open hand on my chest so I could point out the thin, white reminder of the surgery that saved my life after the… accident… all those years ago.

"See? Do you see what they're showing you? You're not alone. You have nothing to worry about. No one has judged you for what they saw." Esme whispered, encouragingly. She had twisted herself around in order to see confirm the final effect. I'm pretty sure I saw a gleam of something positive in her eye.

_Damn, I hope so or I'm in some big kahuna shit for that 'no' back there! _I'd have to cross my fingers and hope for some luck a little later.

"Boys, put your shirts back on." Esme stated simply. We all straightened ourselves up.

Bella's chest was heaving, but I could see that the breaths she was taking were being pulled deeper and deeper into her lungs.

"Good girl, Bella." Esme was cooing. "I knew you could do it." She was combing through Bella's hair with her fingers, trying to ease away the last of the tension and pulling her into a loose hug. Bella's eyes were closing and she finally starting to come down from her attack.

_Damn straight! _I pumped my fist in the air in triumph.

Bella, already the color of ash, suddenly paled further. She threw her hand over her mouth and gasped, "Oh no!" She somehow managed to find the strength to pull herself from Esme's arms and throw herself toward the sink, thankfully only a few feet away from her.

"Sweetheart! What's wrong?!" Esme rushed up behind her, arriving just in time for Bella to start retching violently into the basin. Esme quickly scooped her hair from around her face and patted at her back.

We could hear Bella muttering, "So sorry… so, so sorry," between heaves. She was apologizing for being sick?! Esme, of course, wouldn't listen to that for a second.

"Isabella Swan," _Shit! Esme was pulling out her 'mom voice'. _"I will have none of that!" Her tone was stern, but you couldn't mistake the affection behind the chastisement. "Do you know what you just did?"

Her stomach finally emptied, Bella shook her head—defeated.

"Bella! Do you understand that every other time we've witnessed one of your attacks, you've ended up on the floor, unconscious? Look at where you are right now?"

Bella wouldn't even lift her head.

"Bella, you are still standing on your own two feet. I'll admit that I had my doubts at first, sweetheart, but guess what?" Esme leaned closer as she made her final point. "Bella Swan, you beat this one."

Bella raised her face from the sink, closing her eyes. We could all see the hint of a smile on her face. "Hmmm." She hummed to herself. She was obviously lost in some thought. "Interesting."

It was quiet for another moment. Bella opened her eyes, looking rather embarrassed. "Oh, the mess!" She was staring in horror at the contents of the sink and paled again. "I'll clean this up right now! I'm so sorry…shit, I'm so disgusting!" If she didn't stop herself, she'd start this all over again—and I know I sure as hell didn't want that. She started looking for something to wipe up the mess.

I couldn't believe my ears when I heard the words come out of my own mouth! "I'll take care of it, Bells." _What the fuck am I saying?!_ _Damn! Too late to back out now. Shit! _I sighed and kept going. "You don't need to worry about it. I've got it, little sister."

"NO!" She almost shrieked. "You can't, I've got to…"

"You've got to go lie down." Esme interrupted calmly.

"Yup." I grinned. "What Esme said. I meant it…I've got it, now go lie down before Esme goes all maternal on your ass."

Bella sighed. "Alice," she started, never looking away from the sink. "I'm really tired now. Could you please help me find my way back to my room?" She swayed a little as she stood there, struggling to stay on her feet. At least we knew this was exhaustion, though. It didn't make it any easier to stand there and watch her body slowly succumb to the extreme fatigue.

"You betcha'!" Alice jumped to and rushed to collect the crutches on the floor by the kitchen entry. She came back to Bella by the sink and put a gentle hand on her shoulder.

It was great watching Bella being flanked by Esme and Alice. They literally had her back, and I think she really liked it.

She staggered a little as she pulled the crutches under her arms and Eddie and I rushed toward her to catch her before she ended up a big ol' heap of broken Bella. Thank goodness her back was still to us. She managed to catch herself and we could back off before she could notice and have another freak out episode. _Thank goodness for small favors._

A throat cleared. "Is everything alright in here?"

The new voice startled us from our observations. Carlisle was standing at the kitchen entry, with an empty glass in hand. I can only imagine how this looked to him.

"Oh," Esme straightened up. "Yes, dear. Everything is fine. Bella just…umm…has a bit of a sour stomach."

I didn't mean to snort…_REALLY!_ Eddie and Alice were quick with the look that told me to pull my shit together and stop _now…_or I'd be knee deep in it. I started to cough and hoped that Carlisle would buy the act.

Carlisle just looked at me like I'd sprouted a second head. _Nothing new there!_

He stepped toward her, slowly. "Bella, are you feeling unwell?" Carlisle was obviously concerned.

She turned toward him, tentatively. Her eyes widened and she nodded, and then somehow found her voice. "Yes, but I'm sure I'll be better if I can make it to bed." She was trembling. "I just need to sleep. It's been a long day."

I'm pretty certain that had been the most she'd spoken to any of us and I couldn't help but feel proud of the fact. She really was awesome in that 'my whole world is crumbling around me and I'm scared shitless' sort of way. I was grinning so big my face hurt.

"Well, the antibiotics you're taking can sometimes irritate your stomach, especially if you take them on an empty stomach." He looked down at her kindly. "Bella, please feel free to help yourself to anything in our home. You are our guest and are welcome to anything we have."

Bella was looking very fish-like, her mouth opening and closing but making no sound.

Carlisle chuckled. "Bella, would you like to make a grocery list with some of your favorites? That way we have a guarantee you'll have something in this house that you're willing to eat…" his voice trailed off when he saw the look on her face.

"I'm fine with anything, thank you." She looked so confused.

"Well, think about it. You can change your mind at anytime. Just let any of us know and we'll gladly pass it along to the appropriate staff." He smiled kindly at her

She lowered her head and looked to the floor. "Thank you, again."

The room was awkwardly silent. Alice, being Alice, couldn't stand it and put an end to it. "Well, c'mon, Bella. I have the cutest pajama set for you to wear tonight."

Bella nodded in acknowledgement and started toward the door.

She stopped just before the room's threshold, Alice waiting patiently in the hallway. We might have heard a "Goodnight," but none of us was completely sure.

All I knew for certain was that Bella needed a healthy dose of Emmett McCarty Cullen style Big Brother Lovin'…then all would be right with the world.

RPOV

None of them saw me. They were too busy with _her _again; feeding into her lies and playing right into her manipulative hands.

I left the quiet of the hallway after witnessing the latest incarnation of a Cullen intervention; shirts off, skirts hiked—showing off their battle scars like they're fucking blue ribbons they'd won at a fair!

All I'd wanted was a fucking glass of wine.

Well, enough is enough.

I pulled out my address book and reached for my phone.

I dialed without hesitation. It only rang once before a voice answered on the other side.

"Victoria Langdon Investigations."

"I need to speak with Ms. Langdon, please."

"I'm sorry, she's away from the office for the evening. May I direct your call to one of our associate investigators?"

"No. Just leave Victoria a message… mark it urgent. Tell her Rosalie Hale called. Let her know that if she can call be back within the hour, she'll have a chance to expose a fraud and make her agency known nationwide… press conferences, court appearances…you name it. This is going to be big!"

I could hear the receptionist typing madly.

"Yes, ma'am, I'll have that message forwarded to her directly. Can I help you with anything else?"

"No. That's all. Just remind her that I am not a patient woman, and she now has," I looked to my watch. "Fifty-eight minutes to call me back or I take my business to someone else."

"Very good. Thank you, and have a good evening, Ms. Hale."

"Goodbye." I hung up the phone.

I knew my evening would improve markedly, once I got things rolling…and that bitch out of my house—for good.

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Review and add to favorites or alerts! Please? ::Alice puppy eyes::


	10. Knives Aren't Toys

Standard disclaimer...

This was written for the Support Stacie Author Auction and the winner gave permission for us to post it. The story could continue without it, but we have elected to post it. Consider it chapter 8.5.

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BPOV

It was all I could do to look as I pulled off my shirt, confirming what I already knew. They'd seen them…

_Scars._ The word vibrated through my mind, relentlessly, as I stood in front of the mirror, starting at myself; my body nothing more than a mishmash, hodgepodge of white swirls and lines. The reminders of my childhood; the fear and terror brought on by the very people who were supposed to have protected me – my foster families and their _mementos_ to me. These marks were a testament to my will to live, even as I prayed for death…for my suffering to end. When I looked at them, I saw only more proof of how weak I had been – how weak I still was, if I were being honest with myself. If I'd been stronger, I'd have spoken up, perhaps tried helping myself. I wouldn't have cowered in corners. I'd have been spared.

"Scarred. That's all I'll ever be…all anyone will ever see. No one could ever love a body like this."

My thoughts turned to the Cullens. How they didn't make sense. They hadn't hurt me…yet, but that didn't really matter, though. It was probably time to move on, anyhow. I was still unharmed and desperately wanted it to stay that way. My only problem was that they knew where I worked…where I lived, well, sorta. They could find me if they wanted to. Then, there was the nasty business of basically being homeless. My life really couldn't get any worse. _Damned stairs!_

Heaving a sigh, I slipped into the green pajama pants and white, long-sleeved tee that Alice had given me before heading off to her room for the evening. She was sweet with how she tried tending me, but I couldn't have that. I couldn't owe them anymore than I already did. I pushed the thought to the back of my mind and hobbled out of the bathroom of the bathroom, flipping the light on my way out, and out into my room.

I was almost to the door to turn off the bedroom light when Carlisle turned into the doorway and paused, looking at me. I gasped, stumbling back a bit before catching myself with my crutches.

"I'm so sorry," he apologized. "I didn't mean to startle you." He took a step back into the hallway. "I was merely coming to check and see how you were feeling. I've been concerned after what happened in the kitchen a couple of days ago, but I've been so busy that I have had a chance, too. I thought perhaps we could…" he trailed off, looking uncomfortable as he waited for my response.

I gave a small, but awkward smile, trying not to let my fear show in my eyes, while making my way over to the chair on the opposite side of the bed and farthest from the door. With no Alice or Esme as a buffer, I was convinced that this was the moment. The moment the torture would begin.

I heard sounds in the hallway, followed by a voice. Edward's voice. _NO!_ Carlisle had said 'we'! how could I have missed that?! What if all his soothing was a lie? What if he was only blocking the door and I was trapped? What if he and Edward decided to…_share?_

"Carlisle!" Esme scolded from the hallway. "I told you to wait for me!" She looked stern as she entered the room, her face softening as she noticed my position and glided across the room towards me. "I can't apologize enough for Carlisle's scaring you," she said. "I tried to get him to let me explain to you first that he just wanted to check your leg for signs of infection…especially after your 'episode' in the kitchen." She gave me a knowing look. "Carlisle, it seems, has no patience." She chuckled lightly, turning and gazing affectionately at her husband. "If it will help, I'd be glad to stay…perhaps brush your hair while he checks everything?"

My leg was starting to improve, I could tell that much on my own, but I knew I needed to allow the examination in order to keep my panic attack a secret from Carlisle. I didn't know why, but it was very important to Esme that he remain in the dark about it and I couldn't disappoint her. The thought of Esme's gentle fingers running through my hair was just an added incentive. I nodded in agreement, steeling myself for the onslaught. Esme hurried off to retrieve the brush from the bathroom, having me move to sit on the footrest so she could sit on the chair behind me.

As she got herself comfortable, Edward came up behind Carlisle at that exact moment. I stiffened in reaction, cursing myself for forgetting that he'd been in the hall with Esme.

Carlisle, however, beamed, turning to acknowledge his son. "Ah! Good. You're here!"

_Oh, no…was this an ambush?_

"Edward, I was hoping you'd help me with this."

_It was!_

"Sure. What do you need me to do?"

They both approached me, slowly, continuing to speak to one another. I couldn't make out what either was saying, as all I could focus on was the sound of blood rushing in my ears.

Esme's touch brought me back. "Bella, did you hear what they asked you?"

I shook my head.

"Bella, can you roll up your pant leg for me?" Carlisle asked quietly, bringing my attention to what was unfolding before me. Edward had positioned himself so that he was sitting on the edge of my bed, watching me. When he saw that I wasn't moving, he slowly knelt before me, gently picking up my injured leg. He rested my foot in his lap, rolling up the pant leg to above my knee.

I started trembling, "Please…no…" I sounded so childlike.

"Bella, please relax. No one is going to hurt you. I swear it to you," Edward whispered.

I gulped, hearing his words.

Esme leaned towards my ear and sighed, "Please believe him," before pulling the brush through my hair.

My eyes closed in response and my entire body relaxed back against her legs. Her strokes where smooth and steady. I was in Heaven.

"Bella?" I heard the voice, though it seemed so far away.

"Bella, how did you get this scar?" the voice spoke again.

"Mmmm?" I couldn't pull myself out of the lull I was in. I needed the reprieve from my angst too badly to allow this to stop.

Interpreting my sound to be a request for clarification, the voice manifested itself physically. My eyes flew open and I found myself staring into the face of Edward as his long finger traced the white hairline scar that must have been revealed by Esme's tender brushing.

I stammered, my ability to use any word in the English language flying out the window with the tandem assault that was going on, Carlisle at my legs and Edward at my face. Regardless of how docile the assailants seemed to be, the stimulus was too much, causing me to retreat into my mind.

How funny that I'd been thinking of my scars anyways…

_I was sitting at the window of my dorm room. I couldn't bear the stifling heat of the place. The State really needed to invest in some serious repairs to the air conditioning system if they expected us 'wards' to be even moderately comfortable in this stupid 'home' – or at least make sure the damned windows opened._

_I guess I couldn't be too upset. This was, after all, my last stop on the 'Foster Care Express,' too old to be sent anywhere worth being, but still too young to let loose on the unsuspecting world. I only had a couple of months left, and then I'd age out of the system forever. No one would ever tell me what to eat, when to sleep, or how many freaking squares of toilet paper I could use when I needed to use the bathroom._

_I could taste the freedom on the air, and I liked it._

Thinking back, it really was my fault. I knew that he'd had his eye on me. Some of the other girls had already told me he was interested, which sucked – especially because they were all interested in him! His 'harmless' crush had set me on the outs with most of the girls on my floor. As far as I'd been concerned, they could all have him. I'd seen his idea of affection when he'd corner the new girls and try to touch them up in ways that no one should ever have to contend with. In ways I was far too familiar with…

_I was a fool for letting my guard down. I clenched my fists in frustration with myself. I shouldn't have let my mind wander. I knew I wasn't safe yet, and I still…_

_I'm not even sure how long he'd been watching me from the door before he cleared his throat, alerting me to his presence. I couldn't suppress the shudder that rippled down my spine._

_I should have tried harder to ignore him and not given him a reason to come further into the room. I thought I'd trained myself better. __**Never make a sound!**_ _I almost cried out in fear after realizing that I'd gasped in response to his arrival. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!_

_Of course, he took it as an invitation to come closer, shutting the door behind him, the click sounding rather loud in the quietness of the room. I'd barely blinked and he was standing over me, his eyes dancing with excitement. I couldn't help but look into them. I'd always turned away, before, trying to hide my blushing at his attention – so afraid that he'd mistake my body's small betrayal as a sign of interest. _

_Maybe I'd been foolishly emboldened by my excitement at leaving, but, my eyes lingered a smidgen too long on his face and a boyish smile stretched across his face. His smile was the only innocent about him. His glorious, cerulean blue eyes that looked back at me were predatory, terrifyingly so. His all-American good looks – the muscles, cleft chin, perfect nose, and strategically spiked blonde hair – were marred by the evil revealing itself in those eyes._

_He leaned forward, grasping the back of my neck, keeping me motionless as he ran his nose along the top of my hair, following a trail of brown down to my neck and shoulder. He needn't have held on, as I was paralyzed with fear._

"_Bella," he didn't so much say my name, as sneer it. "You smell absolutely delectable today." He inhaled deeply, starting to play with a strand of hair. "I can't get over how," he paused for effect. "Touchable your hair is."_

_I tried containing my trembling._

_He took my silence as his cue to continue. "I keep having this…fantasy, about this hair of yours."_

_I gulped._

"_I keep imaging your hair weaving back and forth on my bare stomach. Do you know why it's doing that?" he pulled back, looking at my face, waiting for the answer while still fingering my locks._

_I still couldn't speak._

_His gentle play changed. "Bella," his hand fisted in my hair, yanking hard. "When I ask you a question, you _will _respect me enough to answer." He glared at me. "Do you know why your fucking hair is moving back and forth?"_

_I shook my head, dumbly. No._

"_Well, Bella, it would seem you finally saw that you really aren't any better than the rest of the used up whores in this hole and were giving the best blow job I'd ever received…" He closed his eyes momentarily, relishing in his memory. "Your hair is splayed out while you're going down…and it is so fucking heavy and thick. It's like having an extra set of hands on my stomach." He moaned and started rubbing himself with his free hand._

_I felt my stomach churning and prayed that my breakfast wouldn't reappear and further escalate the situation. Damn it! Why couldn't I be tougher!?_

_I tried sliding back from him while he was lost in his ministrations, but had barely moved an inch when he realized I was trying to get away._

"_Oh, no you don't, bitch. I've decided you're mine," he pulled me up by my hair, dragging me over to my freshly made cot and forcing me to sit in front of his straining groin. "I think I've waited long enough for this. You aren't going anywhere." I could feel his spit on my face as he spoke._

_I whimpered then, and, for a brief moment, I thought that maybe he'd come to his senses and would stop. I was so wrong._

_His hand went behind him and he pulled out a small handle. I'd seen it before and flinched when he pushed down on the side and the short blade flicked up in response. "You never know when one of these crazy delinquents will go ape on your ass, so it's always good to be prepared, right, Bella?" I could feel hairs tearing out of my head as he tugged again._

"_Yes," I croaked._

"_That's right, bitch. All I want to hear coming out of your mouth is 'yes.' Do you understand?"_

_I nodded; closing my eyes as he finally released my hair. I just needed to do this and it would be over._

_I heard the clink of metal as he undid his belt buckle, the grinding of his zipper being lowered, and the swish of fabric as denim pooled at his ankles._

"_Bella, make this good and maybe I'll forget that you weren't so forthcoming in your services…" he ran the flat side of the blade across the bridge of my nose. "Hell, if I enjoy this as much as I think I will, I might even let you do it again…"_

_I opened my eyes then, seeing his erect penis. I felt the cold metal pressed against my skin. There was no way I was getting out of this one._

_Fuck._

_He thrust forward, his body demanding attention. His head touched my lips and I had to fight the urge to vomit again as I felt the pre-cum cool on me._

_I took a deep breath, smelling his sweat and sex, before leaning towards him…I knew he could feel my hot breath on him because he started rubbing my hair across his stomach. I gagged once, sliding onto him. He moaned in satisfaction._

_He had won._

_At that moment the intercom sounded and an announcement blared through the facility._

"_Dr. Newton, code yellow. Please report to reception immediately. Dr. Newton, code yellow. Please report to reception immediately. Thank you."_

_I was afraid to move._

"_Shit. Fuck. Shit!" Dr. Newton pulled back from my mouth, leaning over to pull up his jeans and slide the knife back into his pocket._

_I couldn't contain the tears of relief that poured down my face as I dropped back onto my bed to watch him leave the room. I quickly rubbed at my scalp, relieving some of the pain and pulled my hair forward to curtain my wet and shame-filled face._

_He was stepping towards the door when I sobbed, loudly. He froze, then slowly turned toward me. "You don't say a word to anyone, or I'll find you and I will kill you. No one will miss another nobody foster kid. Do you understand?"_

_I nodded vigorously. There would be no mistaking my comprehension._

_He looked at me for another moment, and then strode towards me. "Shit, Bella. I can't get your hair out of my head. I think I need a souvenir to remind me when you're not with me." I willed myself to sink further into the mattress, but my plan didn't work. He was standing over me, pulling out the blade again._

"_I'll just take this with me and hold it in my hand as I think of you and your hot, little mouth." He yanked at the hair I was hiding behind and started to…_

_Actually, I wasn't sure what he did. I felt the tension on my hair being released, but didn't feel any pain. I figured it would be a close shave and I'd be grateful for only that. He straightened, holding his trophy and turning away from me. He was cramming the hair into his pocket quickly, exiting the room, and not looking back._

_I sobbed for awhile longer, tears streaming down my cheeks and into my hair; relieved that the ordeal was over…for now. I figured it was time to see the damage, so I forced myself to sit on the edge of the bed and pull myself together._

_I knew I was a snotty mess, so I quickly grabbed tissues from the side of my bed. I blew my nose and took a deep breath…then I smelt it._

_It had been awhile since I'd smelled my own blood. My last home was a 'destroy them from the inside' sorta place, so it had been more than a few months. I tried to think of how hard he had pulled, but the spots where I was convinced I'd bleed wouldn't put off that strong of odor._

_I made to stand, swaying a bit with the emotional exhaustion of the morning weighing heavily, and cautiously made my way to the bathroom._

_My jaw dropped and my eyes widened in shock as I looked at the gruesome sight before me. There, at my hairline, was a…shit…I didn't even know what to call it. A narrow sliver of flesh had been carved out of my forehead. I'd been scalped and hadn't felt a thing._

_Somewhere in my head a voice said, "Well, I can definitely appreciate the benefits of using a well sharpened knife."_

_I snickered at the thought, then doubled over, lurching towards the toilet and finally gave in to my body's urge to purge; yoghurt, mucus, a cereal bar…then bile…then dry heaves…until my body had nothing left to offer._

_I straightened then looked again. The strain of my vomiting had caused the slowed bleeding to resurge, forcing me to go into first aid mode. I grabbed one of my state issued face clothes and we it, determined to clean the surrounding skin and assessing the seriousness of the injury._

_It wasn't long before I realized that I could fix this on my own. I went to my bed and pulled out my personal first aid kit. After all, you never knew if you'd have to fix yourself up in a pinch. I opened it and rifled through, looking for the crazy glue I'd bought to close up those slices and dices that would need stitches if I'd been allowed to go for medical help._

_It only took a few minutes to get things set. I couldn't be more 'pleased' with the result of my superior healing skills. If I didn't move my forehead for the next week or so, and didn't reopen the wound, I could get off with a barely noticeable scar. I hoped._

_At least I didn't have to worry about laughing or smiling. No. I'd never have to worry about that._

_I took a quick and careful shower, needing to get the blood out of my hair before someone noticed that something had happened, and then redressed. I moved to the mirror and stared a moment longer, bring my long hair forward to cover the red line. I shook my head, walking back into my room and resuming my position by the window._

_Only a couple more months…then freedom…_

"Bella?" Edward whispered. "Are you still with us?" He smiled lightly as he saw me come back from my reminiscence.

"I'm here," I whispered back, my cheeks flushed.

He continued speaking to me in hushed tones. "Carlisle thinks the stitches can come out in a couple more days, and there's no sign of infection. Considering everything, you've done a great job taking care of your wound."

I touched my fingers to my forehead. "Yeah, I have some experience with that."

A frown marred his face, so I closed my eyes and struggled to maintain some semblance of control.

I noticed the brush strokes, still steady and even, as Esme continued to care for me. I drew in a deep breath and held it, hoping the pressure welling up in my chest would help to keep my heart rate steady.

I kept thinking about how hopeful I had been at that moment in my life…and how that had been taken away in another long line of crushing events. I was still trapped in that cycle of despair.

Would I ever get out?

"Perhaps we should get you into bed before you fall asleep sitting up?" Esme asked.

I opened my eyes, looking into hers. I could see all the things I wanted within those depths: love, hope, strength…Oh, to have lived her life…

I moved slowly to the edge of my chair, making sure that my legs were steady enough to make the short trip to the bed.

It wasn't long before I was lying under the comforter and Esme was fluffing pillows behind my head. Edward had snuck away after offering a whispered goodnight, so it was just the two of us again.

"Esme," I sighed, rolling onto my side facing her. "I wish I could've had your life."

She looked down at me affectionately. "Bella, everyone has their trials. Don't you dare go and compare the worth of one life to another." She was firm in her statement.

"It's easy enough, Esme," I yawned. "I just wish that…" I closed my eyes, letting my voice trail off. _I just wish I could be happy and free._

Esme must have assumed that I was asleep, but she stayed still as she sat on my side of the bed until she was convinced her movements wouldn't disturb me.

She stood and leaned over to kiss my forehead..my scar.

"Sweet dreams, sweet Bella," she whispered. "…and, please, believe me when I tell you this…sometimes wishes do come true."


	11. AUTHOR AUCTION

**SUPPORT STACIE AUTHOR AUCTION RUNNING FROM SEPTEMBER 11 TO SEPTEMBER 14!! **

**I'M OFFERING A STORY AND THE WINNER GETS THEIR OWN CHARACTER IN WISHING STAR!!!**

**http://www . majiksfanfic . com / phpbb / viewtopic . php?f = 115&t = 2729**


	12. Rosalie?

We don't own...

Sorry for the delay. Life has been busy and then I just didn't sit down and get this up.

Hey, Mystic and I would really like to apologize for the irratic posting schedule for this story, but real life sometimes gets in the way of 'creative genius'! LOL! Between work, kids, home renovations and personal health issues, it's difficult to crank out a chapter on a regular basis-- especially when we are working on this together and have such different lives! Hopefully we'll hit our stride with this again once things settle down, but please know that both of us have every intention of finishing this story-- whether you like it or not! ;) Thanks for your suppport and understanding in this! You are all absolutely fantastic!

OrangeBlossom

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CPOV

Over the next week and a half, I made it part of my nightly ritual to check on Bella before going to bed and tonight was no exception. As I found her every night, she was curled into a ball in one corner of the bed, the comforter wrapped around her in such a way that all I could see was the top of her head. She had a fondness for corners, probably feeling as if they were safe. I'd have to make sure the bed in her new room was pushed against the wall for her.

Post-traumatic stress disorder. The term churned in my mind as I stood just inside the doorway watching her, the light from the hall making a beam on the floor. How she had survived for so long on her own like this was a mystery. Heck, just saying PTSD made me feel as though I was giving her a life sentence—forever trapped in a Hell of her own making. Typically in these especially severe cases, the person would have been isolated and maybe institutionalized; forced to live a life filled with therapies and meds and only the faintest hope of coming out at the end of all this still intact. But, Bella seemed to be an exception to the rule. Not only hadn't she been isolated or institutionalized, she'd managed to work and make a living. If she ever got better, I'd have to discuss that with her and discover how she'd managed it.

My family seemed positive that we could help her and didn't need to put her in a mental institute. In fact, with the exception of Rosalie, they'd all approached me individually over the course of the last week and demanded that the option of treating her by sending her away be taken right off the table. Rubbing my chin with one hand, I started mulling it over. I was a qualified doctor. Granted, I'd given up my private practice more than a year ago to finally spend time with Esme now that the kids were older and away from the house more, but I was still licensed to practice in the states of California and Illinois. I could help her. I just wasn't positive that the help she needed was help I could give her. She wasn't a veteran returning from war; that would have been a little easier. I could ask about the war, the explosions, the fires, the screams…something tangible. No, she was a girl with an unknown past that had been, if her panic attacks were any indication, extremely traumatic. What could have happened to her?

The scars I'd seen on her legs bespoke of serious harm to her and over half of them had long since faded beyond white to the point where they were nearly invisible. They'd happened when she was young, of that much I was sure. Who would be so cruel as to torture a small child? She should have been protected and cherished. I knew that Alice and Rosalie had pasts not dissimilar to Bella's, but at least they'd come to us early enough for us to do some good.

I thought back to the two of them and how they'd come to us, all those years ago. If Doctor Gerandy hadn't been out sick with the flu that evening, we may never have had the opportunity to get to know those two spitfires. I shook my head chuckling in memory of that first day at their new home back in Chicago; Alice dancing up the steps of our red-bricked townhouse and Rosalie gliding in behind her—looking like she'd cut anyone who dared get too close.

I ran my fingers through my hair in frustration_. Rosalie._

The house had been a flurry of secret conversations this past week…not just in respect to Bella's treatment plan. None of us could understand the animosity Rosalie felt towards our newest addition. Esme, especially, was terribly disappointed in her reaction. She'd hoped that Rosalie would reach out and help Bella come to terms with her past. Esme's background in psychology was a great asset in helping all of the children as they came to us, and Esme had been so convinced that Rosalie would be Bella's greatest ally in her recovery.

To be honest, so had I. Alice had suffered terribly on the streets, and we knew that her parents had been_ less than tender _with her quirks and idiosyncrasies, forcing experimental medications and treatments on her in order to force her to tow the line, but Rosalie had suffered horribly at the hands of her foster father for years before she had finally fled—seeking refuge in the alleys and parks of Chicago rather than bear the pain of more sexual abuse.

What baffled me was that Rosalie was so adamant that Bella was trying to trick us all. If only she'd come out and interact with her. Jasper, Edward, Esme and I had all seen the physical proof of her horrific past…all Rosalie had to do was look—_really look—_and she'd see that no one was that good an actor…

"Carlisle?" Esme whispered, coming up behind me.

"Yes, love?"

"Emmett, Jasper and Alice are trying to do a _discreet _burger run right now… which of course means that we need to be prepared for some crazy TMZ story to run about their late night drug frenzy…ugh. I told them not to bother getting anything for you as it's late and you need to be watching your cholesterol anyways."

I could hear the playfulness in her voice. "Oh, hush woman!" I teased back. "A little In-n-Out burger now and then won't kill me!" I couldn't keep from laughing at my own joke.

Esme went quiet.

"What are you doing?" Esme inquired, walking closer to me.

I turned my head, finally looking over my shoulder at her. "I was just checking on Bella. We need to be sure that when she's moved into a new room, the bed is up against the wall, Sweetheart."

Esme's baffled expression asked her question before she even spoke. "Why?"

I nodded in Bella's direction. "She likes corners. Probably gets a sense of safety from them. It would most likely war with the fact that part of her knows they are traps as well, but I'm willing to say that the safety she found in them afterwards overrides that common sense."

"You're probably right. Didn't you say that her panic attacks here had involved her finding the nearest corner?" Esme queried, watching Bella sleep.

"Yes," I nodded, turning around to wrap my arms around Esme's waist. I sighed as I continued, "I'm not sure I can help her, Esme. What she needs may go beyond what I can give."

"You can do it, Carlisle. I have absolute faith in you. Besides, you have me. This may go beyond standard talk therapy, but you know that I'll do everything I can to help. Most all of us will. Anyways, I don't think it's just the medical help that she needs so much as a loving home as well. She needs to see that not all men are evil, and what better place to see that than here…with all of us." Esme buried her face in my neck, shaking her head. "Her body is covered in scars from head to toe, Carlisle. Whatever she's been through, tragic doesn't even begin to cover it. It's as if she were tortured. How anyone could do that to her…and how could no one have known?!"

"I know, Esme." I whispered into her hair. "I'm just as confused by it as you are." I shook my head and took a deep breath. "She can't go back to work, you know. If I'm to help her, we'll need to do some isolating. She needs to be around just a few select people. Heaven help us if she were to have another run in with that Mike person Edward told us about. After all this time away from that sort of stress, who knows what would happen if he snuck up behind her while she was concentrating on something on set. No. We have to get her desensitized to the presence of others before we have her try working with others. If she goes back to work too soon, whatever we may do could be undermined, and Bella's psyche could be irreparably damaged."

Esme leaned back, looking up at me, tears glistening in her eyes. "What do you propose to do?"

Rubbing her back, I answered. "I'll call the studio and release her medically. If I do that, I might be able to put her job on hold so she has one to return to. It's the only way. You'll have to convince her that she needs to remain here. She's bonded with you. She cares for you. She'll listen to you."

I stopped speaking for a moment, and thought. "She's been interacting with Jasper some, hasn't she?"

Esme nodded, snuggling against me again, her tears wetting my shirt, not that I cared. "Yes. Very little though. She's managed to stand being in a room with him for short periods of time, but never alone. She isn't cowering in the corner, though, and that's a start." She sounded muffled, but optimistic.

"How did he achieve that?" I inquired, intrigued. I could hardly believe what Esme had said. _Jasper?_ We all knew that Edward felt something for Bella from the moment he stepped through the doors with her in his arms that first day. He had all but demanded that he be a part of her medical care, wanting to ensure that she knew he cared for her, in all aspects. He was working so hard to have her be comfortable with him. I could only hope that the other boys were extending the same effort—cautiously.

Esme interrupted my thoughts. "They were in the library." She explained. "Alice described it to me in _vivid_ detail. Basically, Jasper treats her like a deer caught in headlights. She's very stiff around him, but he's aware and moves slowly and cautiously, keeps his hands where she can see them at all times and maintains a distance that gives Bella a nice head start should he attempt to harm her," Esme explained, pulling out of my arms to close Bella's bedroom door before leading me upstairs.

"Hmmm…yes, that would work. She's obviously tolerating it, as I haven't been called upon in any medical capacity since those first few days." Esme stiffened at my statement. I was curious of her reaction, but figured it was the stress of this last week and a half. I caressed her back again and decided to press on with my thoughts. "I take it then he's supplying her with plenty of reading material, then?"

Esme snorted in response. "Oh my, yes! In fact, I'd say plenty is an understatement. Next time you go into her room, go during the day and look on her floor beside the nightstand. She's got quite the stack of books in there. I think she's about a quarter way through 'War and Peace' right now."

_Hmm. _Bella was a bright girl it seemed. If what I thought happened, had indeed, I doubted she'd gone to college. It might do her some good to stimulate her mind. Help her overcome, or at least learn to deal with, whatever had happened to her. "Maybe we should hire a tutor for her," I mused aloud.

"A tutor?" Esme looked back at me as we walked up the stairs.

"Yes. I have a feeling she didn't attend college, which would explain why someone as bright as her has the job she does. I think if we were to challenge her mind, give her a chance to better herself and get a better job, it would do her some good. There has to be a female tutor we could hire. I'll call and talk to the college about Bella doing off campus studies."

Esme tilted her head to the side and I could see the wheels in her mind turning, thinking over what I'd said. "You may be right. I'll discuss it with her and see what she thinks of the idea."

"Oh, And the not going back to work. Don't forget that you'll have to be the one to broach to her that she shouldn't return, at least right away. Convince her to stay here." I hesitated. "Esme?" I struggled to find the right words. "Are you sure you want to do this?. There's a lot more to Bella than there was to any of the others. This might not take a month… or even three or six. This is a long road we're going to have to travel."

I paused midway through the doorway of our room as Esme whirled around on me, glaring at me as if I'd just announced that I was having an affair.

"That girl has started putting her trust in someone, us, however small it may be. At least the seed has been planted, and I _will not_ ship her off to some mental institute and destroy that trust. She needs and _deserves_ better than that and I intend to see that she gets it. Between the lot of us, I think we can manage. Do you doubt that?"

I held my hands up in a sign of surrender. "Not at all, Sweetheart… not at all. I just needed to make sure that you understood what you were choosing. I can see that you do." I smiled gently to her.

She nodded, smiled back condescendingly to me and patted my cheek, not saying a word as she walked out of the room. I waited until she was out of earshot before sighing in relief. There were times like these when I cursed myself soundly for forgetting how protective Esme could be over her children, or those she loved. Whether I had the qualifications or not, it seemed that I was going to be helping Bella. Lord knew I was going to need some help myself.

RPOV

A week and a half. How much longer would everyone take to finally realize that this was all a plot to take us for a hefty sum of cash? The more I'd stewed over this, the more I realized that those idiot siblings of mine had put us in the perfect position to be blackmailed. I could see the headlines now, _'Cullen Family Tragedies: A Closer Look at the Pain Behind the Smiles'. _

I couldn't get the image of those fools showing off their scars in that kitchen out of my mind. Hell, I could barely stand to look at Emmett after that spectacle; putting his past on display like that! Why couldn't they see what she was?

… _and why was everyone turning on me? _

_* Ring*… *Ring*…_

I was startled by the shrillness of the cell phone ringing on my vanity, somehow managing to dash across the room and answer before the third ring. I crossed my fingers, hoping this would be the call that would bring this hell to an end. She'd had plenty of time to find _anything_ on _her._

"Hello?"

"Ms. Hale?" The child-like quality to her voice was maddening. Hell, it made me want to shove an ice pick into my eardrum! But Victoria was the best in the business, and it was that voice that made it. Men were constantly underestimating her abilities, assuming she was nothing more than a hot, dumb sexpot. I knew what that was like…and I knew the power that it provided for women like us…and that was exactly what I needed.

"Yes." I replied coolly, trying to keep the eagerness to a minimum.

"Ms. Hale, this is Victoria Langdon. I apologize for calling at such a late hour. How are you this evening?"

Her polite tone was grating on my nerves. "Cut to the chase. What have you found out about the little interloper?" I couldn't even pretend to be patient at this point.

"Well, um…" she sounded hesitant.

_Oh, shit. That couldn't be good._

"Well, I've done as extensive a background check as any legal means can allow me, and I can't find anything in her history to suggest that she's anything but a poor woman who is down on her luck..." She trailed off, as though she were holding something back.

"Unacceptable!" I shrieked. "That's a load of BULLSHIT and you know it!" I hollered into the phone. "That bitch is hiding something, and you are going to find out what it is!"

The line was silent for a moment before a throat cleared. "Ms. Hale…" She paused. "I only said that the check being conducted by 'legal means' failed to provide results. You didn't allow me the opportunity to finish…"

"FUCK! Stop playing word games with me! Either you have something or you don't!" I didn't bother to keep my frustration in check.

"Ms. Hale. I don't think what I've uncovered on your… *ahem*… houseguest is exactly what you're looking for…but it is certainly more than anyone else would be able to find. She has an extraordinarily "unfortunate' past that required some serious finessing on my part to have exposed, and I'm honestly not sure that this is something to be shared…"

I could almost feel the venom in my mouth as I spoke the words, "I am not paying you for your integrity or your ethics, Victoria. You will be compensated generously for any hardships you've had to suffer as a result of this particular job…and for your discretion once you've served your purpose…now _spill_."

The silence on the other end of the line made me nervous. _Did she hang up on me while I went on my little tirade? NO! No one dares to hang up on Rosalie Hale…right?_

A throat cleared again and I stopped myself from continuing my train of thought. _Of course no one would hang up on me…_

"Why are you doing this?" The softness of the question startled me.

"What do you mean?" I replied, cautiously.

"Oh, don't panic, Ms. Hale. I'll give you what you've paid for…and probably more, but I am curious. What has she done? If you gave me a clue as to what you suspected, I could direct my investigation in a more specific direction. Does she deal drugs? Is she a prostitute? Did she cheat off of a test of yours while in high school? What you've told me is…well…forcing me to take some rather questionable measures. I'd like to know why I'm taking the risk--"

_Huh. _

All it took was the one question to bring me back to then… that time that I fought so hard to leave behind. _"What has she done?" _

Suddenly, there I was, standing in the entrance to that back alley—shivering in my too thin coat and my threadbare jeans.

_It had been days since I'd really slept for more than an hour or so at a time and I was exhausted. It seemed like all the bums in Chicago had extra money for booze as it got closer to the holidays and always managed to find themselves either rowdy or fucking puking right by where I'd be trying to catch a bit of shut-eye. I couldn't take it much longer. _

_Nessie, another girl from the street, was shivering beside me. I knew she was getting desperate for a break from the streets, too, 'cuz she had that look in her eye. Nessie had been on the streets for a lot longer than I at this point, and the streets had made her hard. She always had an angle and always looked out for numero uno…Nessie. I could barely imagine what she'd do this time._

"_Hey, Goldilocks?" She suddenly whispered beside me._

"_Yeah?"_

"_Do you see that mark over there?" She jutted her chin out and toward an older gentleman standing under an awning across the street from us; white hair, glasses, trench coat buttoned up to his eyeballs and an umbrella wedged safely under his arm. He was obviously waiting for someone who was running late. _Damn it. Why him?! _He looked like someone's grandpa and I wished she'd have picked someone else for her next scheme. _

_I barely repressed my sigh of frustration, "Yes, Nessie, I see him." _

"_I've decided I'd like to take a shower and maybe have a nice, home cooked meal…I think that Gramps over there looks like just the fella to provide that. He might need a little motivation before he offers it up, though. Before I move, do you want in on the action?"_

_I cringed as she chuckled. The plans were already churning about it that deviant mind of hers. I shook my head, declining any part in her scheme._

_Nessie harrumphed, "Fine, suit yourself bitch," and turned to face the alley wall._

_I had no idea what she was doing and almost didn't care when I heard the click and fast swish of the switchblade. Suddenly she hissed in pain._

"_Nessie?" I was concerned._

"_What?!" She demanded as she turned back to face me._

_I covered my mouth to prevent myself from screaming aloud. The river of blood streaming down the side of her face was gruesome. Her brown eyes were wide for a moment, then a slow blink brought her back into the game she'd set out to play. Already the droplets were dripping into her dark brown hair, staining the collar of her coat and dotting the rest._

"_Nessie? What are you doing?!"_

"_I told you, idiot!" Nessie sneered. "I want a shower and a meal and not all of us have your angelic features…we can't all get by with a wink and a smile…and the ability to give a killer blow job. Does he remind you of someone you used to 'service'? Is this a trip down memory lane for you, Goldilocks?" My stomach churned at her implication. _

"_Look, there's nothing wrong with playing the sympathy card…" she sneered as she explained. "A little stagger, a little whimper…that sucker is going to be wrapped around my little finger. Hell, I'd be willing to bet that I remind him of one of his favorite grandchildren." She snorted in amusement._

"_Ness. Please. Can't you pick someone else? Let him be? I'm sure you can find someone else to target…someone who can give you more than just a shower and dinner…" I tried to keep the desperation out of my voice. I needed her to pick anyone but him. "Big John is always looking for new girls to…"_

_Nessie interrupted me. "Puhleeze," She drawled. "If you'd wanted him so badly, you should have said something before I decided to mark up my face." She turned and started to walk away, then looked back at me. "Besides, if I was going to ask Big John for any favors, I'd bring you as an offering." She winked at me, rubbed her eyes vigorously, then smiled. "Wish me luck."_

_And then she was gone._

_It not like I followed the news or anything, but it was only the next day when we all heard what Nessie had done. Stuff like that hits the streets pretty fast, especially when it's one of us. An old man and his invalid wife had been murdered in their twin beds…heads smashed in with a lamp and throats slit for good measure…with a switchblade._

_I can still feel the hard cement under my knees as I knelt between the garbage cans and heaved until I thought I'd start spewing internal organs. I couldn't believe she'd done something so evil to someone who reminded me so much of…_

_I couldn't even think his name._

_He had been such a good man—and so good to me when no one else was._

_And he was gone—again._

_Nessie had defiled someone so kind and…and … _

…_And it wasn't really him, but it was all the same to me. One more person gone. One more person who will never be able to tell me that it will be alright while I eat chocolate chip cookies on his porch when I try to put off going home to my torturers, night after night. One more person who was infected by the filth I seem to attract._

_What had she done?_

_I hate my life._

"Ms. Hale?" That wretched voice interrupted my thoughts, and I was startled. Placing my hand to my face, I found proof of my 'stroll down memory lane', and quickly wiped the traitorous tears from my cheeks.

"What!?" I snapped.

"I'm sorry, you just didn't answer my question and then didn't say anything at all. I thought that…"

"No. Don't think. Just do. Get your ass off this phone and find me something concrete on the enigma that is Isabella Swan!"

Ms. Langdon was silent for just a moment, probably trying to find some way to salvage the civility of this conversation. It was too late for that.

"Ms. Hale?"

This was starting to annoy me to the nth degree. _Time to wrap it up, lady._ "Look, the next time I hear from you, I want to hear bunches about her. I don't want to hear that she had some miserable fucking life because she didn't get a bike for her tenth birthday and her friends teased her in junior high and her prom date stood her up—all because her mother didn't breastfeed her enough. You bring me something real. I want to ensure that she never comes near anyone I love—_EVER AGAIN_. Do I make myself clear?"

"Crystal clear, Ms. Hale." She whispered.

I was about to disconnect when I remembered her simple question…_why? _ "And Ms. Langdon? In regard to your earlier question…all I can say is that Ms. Swan reminds me of an old friend, and I'll leave it at that."

I snapped my phone shut and closed my eyes. _I am not that person anymore…I am not that person anymore… _

The personal affirmation shit wasn't working, so I turned to leave my room. A good, stiff drink would settle me better than anything else I could try right now.

Needless to say, I was not prepared for what I saw when I opened my eyes to go.

Edward looked shell-shocked as he stood in my doorway, his mouth opening and closing a few times before he finally found the strength to speak aloud, "Rosalie? What? ...what the hell have you done?"

All I could think was, "Fuck. I really need to remember to close my door."


End file.
